Conversations with myself

I enjoy

Conversations

With myself

Never loved them

More with

Anyone else

I love myself

Some would

Say it’s insane

To confide

In yourself

But who else

Is left?

Who can I run to?

When the friend

Is an enemy

That didn’t

Mean to

Turn on you.

Truth hurts.

Sitting here

Self inflicted

Poisoned pain

Who can I turn to?

Not you.

I poisoned you.

Came back

to suck

It out.

Miserable

What I did to you

It doesn’t hold

Me back

No dwell

On a past

Observation

Is my bliss

Intuition is

My kiss

Somewhat

Of a daily

Walking

Vision quest

How does he deal

With me ?

Flying around

These woes

You see

I’ve recognized

All the foes

Don’t worry

In the end

It wasn’t you

Poor brain

You let them

Get to you

Acted the way

They told you to

Showed them the

Devil you knew

You weren’t supposed

To do

What the hell?

Who am I?

Ego

Is that all?

Hurt?

Is that all?

Angry.

It’s not all.

Living my trauma

Thinking I

Could survive

I couldn’t be

Myself

With anyone

Faking through

The telephone

To you

Acting like life

Was FINE.

It wasn’t !

It isn’t!

I wanted to

Tell you.

I thought I’d

Lose you.

If I told you

The truth.

If I told you

I don’t envy

This. I don’t

Want this.

This fence

These sheets

This roof

These chains

I never figured out

My true pain

Angst held my

Throat

I ran to a van

To the den

I hide in

I’m getting too old

To hide

Can’t take it anymore

The floor is a bore

I got up

I thought you’d be there

I thought you’d tell me

I’m glad you made it

Through

But you weren’t there.

Not even your voice.

Why didn’t you yell at me?

Why couldn’t you insult me?

Why wouldn’t you

Take it out on me

Like you wanted to?

So controlled it

Broke my heart.

Rehearsed verse

Like a shitty song

You cover.

You know you

Are more

Than this

Man.

This marriage.

This vision.

Remember when I

Pulled your thoughts

From your eyes?

Come alive.

It’s real.

Kundalini on my spine

You.

That was your soul.

Saving me.

While you were

Too busy being human.

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