Killer Apathy

So, in a sense, the most dangerous thing in the world is apathy. We think of weapons, violence, warfare, disease as terrible dangers, and indeed they are, but we can take measures to avoid them. But once our apathy takes hold of us, we can no longer avoid it.”

-Gyalwang Karmapa-

Apathy is the worst weapon

It takes someone you care for

And makes you question

Everything about them

Was anything real?

Have I been delusional

All these years?

How could you be

So cold to me?

Did I make this

Friendship up?

Did I write to myself?

Call myself?

For years

Playing both sides ?

I try to let this go

But still the question

Why? sits there and

Rapes my mind

I don’t want it

I don’t want to remember

But I do

I remember details

I shouldn’t

I remember conversations

As you have forgotten

They still echo on

To me

Why can’t you remember

The last real talk

We were allowed to have ?

Your apathy has

Truly stunned me

How could you be

So monotone ?

How could you say

Enabling on the phone?

What does that even mean?

I wish it made sense to me

I look back and see what

Went wrong

I wasn’t there to defend myself

I wasn’t there

And I’ll never be there again

I asked God to take it all away

Years and years I’ve prayed

Protect us

Guide us

Tell us how to get back home

Your apathy has killed

The part of you I knew

Your apathy has taken

My memories and ridiculed

Turned them blue

If you’d please leave

My mind

Of all people

I can’t stand you

Being unkind

If this is the person

That you are ?

Then I have been

Blind and deaf

All along

8:45 AM

6-7-20