Where did the time go?

I can’t help but feel blocked

I can’t help but still feel shocked

I’m going to have a baby

4 months to go

I’m going to have a baby

Fuck where did the time go?

Before you came along

I was meditating yoga-ing

& traveling along

Scheduling the festivals

And dreaming of a van

Marriage came

I gave up my name

But he never treated me

Like a ball and chain

I could come and go

As I please

Standing in front of the band

Never acting like a tease

There for the music

Appreciating the show

Always in love with the music

Never acting like a foe

Monroe came

And everything has changed

Monroe is coming

And I feel so ashamed

What kind of mother will I be?

When I’m terrified I’ll fuck

The life up inside of me

What kind of mother will I be?

When I crave the silence

The dark night brings

I hear so much advice

I decided to hide in my clothes

My stomach is getting bigger

But myself I see her let go

I’m a rollercoaster

I get to blame on hormones

I hate roller coasters

I want the steady

Streaming flow

I know when you are here

I will act more clear

But today I’m in my head

Too early to go to bed

So I lay here wondering



What kind of mother will I be

When I already love you so much

What kind of mother will I be

When I’m terrified for you

To be raised by me?



Will I set you up for success?

Or hover way too much?

Will I let anyone in

Or hide from the congratulations show?



I picture the day I meet you

I can’t contain my tears

I can’t believe your coming

How did God let me have this cheer?



I’m terrified to meet you

But your everything I want

I’m scared of the first time

I’ll hold you

Afraid I’ll never let you go

I fast forward a couple decades

To freak myself out a little more

What will you be like?

When I take you to the show?

I hope you find yourself

Better than I found mine



I hope you have dear friends

That can always read your mind



Don’t hide like I did

I wasted a lot of time



Don’t confide like I did

In the only Dear twin mind



Depend on yourself

At the end of the day

Be your safe space



But don’t be scared to

Let people in

Let them show you

You don’t depend



On them

on me

On old glor-y



It is in you

That you will

Find your truth



Monroe I ask

For forgiveness

We still have 4 months left

Monroe I ask

For patience

I’ve never done this

Mommy thing before



I feel like a child

Finding out I’m

Having a child



I feel insecure

About being your Mother

I feel insecure

I won’t tell another



Monroe your healthy

I saw you this week

My baby your changing

I can’t wait to fully see



I’m going to be a mother

Where did the time go?

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