Hate the Sin Love the Sinner

Stay asleep

I can’t care

Caring gets me

Closer to

Nowhere with you

I’m still the problem

When I’ve faced myself

Dug down deep

And pulled out the hell

.

.

.

I showed you the flame

And you point and say

Your to blame

You can’t forgive

When you’ve never

been taught

.

.

Shoving it down

Will just bubble up

.

.

Pretending to not feel

Will raise a devastating appeal

Your body will revolt

From the resentment

Hiding below

.

.

You’ll bloat from

Apathy and reward

Your disdain

.

,

But here I am

I hold ALL fault

I told you the truth

And you still

Want me to fall

.

.

Shall I get on my knees

And say oh please

Forgive me please?

Well sorry this bow

Is for the Lord

He’s the only one

Who holds the keys

You just keep pointing

And telling me my faults

Telling me I should say nothing

Since I’ve sinned too fucking much

I don’t believe

I’ll call you as often

Or anymore

You think of your

Own opinion too

Much to hear

Me when I fall

I was always too much

.

Too dramatic

.

Won’t shut the fuck up

.

So selfish

.

Such a brat

.

I went into the world

And they said the same thing

No one ever taught me

My emotions were insane

They just kept beating me

Into submission

Why can’t you be just the same?

Your head is in the clouds

You’ll crash down one day

.

.

I don’t know who says that

To a child that’s a dreamer

I don’t know how bad you

Have to feel inside to

Poison me with your lows

.

.

You actually thought

You were helping me

Telling me all my faults

.

.

If I picked at you

You would come unglued

And turn into a dragon

Whose been waiting

For a feud.

.

.

This isn’t easy

Looking at myself

But isn’t easy when you

Think I haven’t experienced

My own personal hell

Some self inflicted but

Who knew I was

Supposed to actually

love myself

.

.

I thought it was a saying

Some cliche thing

I see now why God

Made you blind

Go back and talk

About the president

Politics and the

Rest of the unkind

I promote what I love

And send no energy

To the hate rising from below

It’s easy to hate in this world

Easy to judge and say

It’s okay

I am not perfect

But at least I’m

Vowing to change my ways

As we have our talks

And I poke at your thoughts

I see your defensiveness

Rising from your gut

I am the problem

My truths do no good

I am the defect

You should’ve hangered

In the woods

My whole life I thought

I was too much for you

My whole life I thought

I could never live up to you

My whole life I thought you’d be

Better off with two

And today I find out

That this doesn’t have

To be my noose

I’ve lost my friends

My family

And my foes

I don’t know what’s left

But To hang this hat and

Let it go

I refuse to listen

To the words you

Think would help

You’ve done more for me

Than you’ll ever know

But to act like staying

At your feet would help me

Grow is a blow I have to

Take into myself

I wasted a lot of time

Thinking I could be like you

I wasted a lot of my soul

Blacking it and blue

.

.

You will never know

My story because

You think it’s your fault

You will never know my story

Till you buy it on a shelf

Or read it in the dark

.

.

I gave you open access to

Listen to my soul

But in the end

“I feel nothing ”

And I’m heading for my goals

I am alive with pride

That I can feel inside

I am alive with divine

Knowing God has me

In or outside

So please don’t tell me

What you think I am

You don’t know what

I’ve done to get here

.

The heaven and the hell

.

I’m a walking fucking

Miracle with one foot

In the grave

I choose the living and the

Dead as my safe space

I choose the sinners

And the poor as you

Mock them on the floor

You’ve never been so low

You’ve never hated yourself

As much as I have

You’ve never abused yourself

To the devils that I have

You’ll never know that pain

Because God knows if he gave you

My plate you would be clinically insane

But I wear it as a badge

I fucking found myself

No help from the doctors

No therapist to help me cling on

Note cards & falter

.

.

I found myself in

The wind

I found myself in the dirt

I found myself In the woods

Running through the streams

With the animals insects and

Broken cut off streams

.

.

I know what you have lost

But we aren’t aloud to discuss

So when I am able to talk

So boldly of things you hush hush

I know I am not the problem

I’m the awakening

Of your illusions

.

.

I can’t stress

If we have different views

You held me down for so long

Thinking this is your truth

.

.

If I struck a chord

Then go put it back in tune

If I struck a nerve

Then don’t let it consume

I’m starting a family

With or without you

But I won’t live in a divide

Of someone’s else

Distorted truths

.

.

The past is the past

But you prefer to

Show me it like I blow

Your past is your past

So I’m gonna need you to

Let mine go

.

.

I have an opinion

And can turn on judgement eyes

It’s easy this world needs to go

.

.

I was sent to sin and learn my lessons

And pass the knowledge

Before God let’s me go home

.

.

But I’m not supposed to waste my time

With the ones who say I’m low

Love falling on deaf ears

Cause your perspective

Is just your own created show

.

You are not safe in your cave

Of unlit flames

You are not safe in this

Life we’ve built with shame

Secrets have surrounded us

So much I thought it was cool

Nobody knows us!

You can’t figure us out

But we will be there if

You feel low

.

.

.

An enigma of relatives

That can certainly put on a show

But I’m tired of fighting

And being told I’m the

only one biting

When the divide has been

Our settle down joe

.

.

I’d like to come home

Where family is full

Where we can talk about

Passions and when we don’t

Know where to go

I never want to hear

Everything will be fine

I need a conversation

Some details to flow

I’m different from you

And you damn well did know

.

.

You supported my arts but

It got pretty dark

I went into something

You thought was a black mark

But this is my life

My karma to fix

.

.

So keep pointing and telling

You don’t know how to fix

It’s my life’s mission

To tell my truths

I’m sorry your hiding

But people are dying

And someone needs

to do more than point

.

.

I’m going to find them

All the misunderstood

The tortured

The raped

The drugged up and bruised

.

.

I will hold them

While their families

Stare in distance

I will listen to their pain

And help them throw up

Their misguidance

.

.

We are all mirrors

To learn from one another

But the second you are your

Profession well that is

Just another dead lesson

.

.

Maybe one day

We can have our little chat

Maybe one day

You’ll join me on that mat

But that isn’t today

And you have to understand

I am okay

.

.

Dismay is apart of it

I’m living my worst fears

As we speak

Losing a loved one

And not knowing how to cope

.

How do I live without you

When your so far away

I don’t get to look up at the heavens

And feel saved

I know your walking around

With strings pulling down

Maybe one day

I won’t feel like

I have to make a sound

.

.

But it’s crucial I find them

The tortured & the damned

It’s crucial I love them

Before all the miracles

Come and claim demand

.

.

I know God is coming

This world is too damn bad

I know God has got me

And you even if we

Make each other sad

.

.

I send you love

And wish for peace

In a world who thinks

Those words are a joke

.

.

Here I am smiling

That this world is

Going to explode

.

.

Call it the rapture

Judgement day

Or the blow

.

.

I am here a servant

Of God’s impending blow

I ask him for his mercy

On the things I didn’t know

I ask him to forgive me

For the things I didn’t show

.

.

So please don’t point your finger

I’ll break it and let go

12:50 pm

July 2nd