Aquarian Water Bearer

Aching for the sound of

your steps in the forest

This is our home

Music always playing

This is where I roam

Aching to find the lotus


Is it stuck in the mud

Surrendering over and over

I could transmute the pain

But I want to carry it with me

I need to know it was real

Need to know you taught

Me how to feel

You brought humanity

Back to my eyes

How could I ever let you go

This time


You don’t know what I see

Don’t make me view you

With your eyes

I know you’ve been unkind

Everything you’ve thought of me

I’ve thought of you

Every time I wanted to give up

You’ve pushed me right on through

Aching for you to find your truth

Share your gift —- transmute the loneliness

Within — it’s an illusion dear friend



I know you wanna come home too

I don’t blame you — these people are mean

False flags as family — can’t comprehend

Struggling to forgive will only waste time

Release the strings

The ties that bind

Wrap your head around

You are no longer yours

You are mine

We have little time

Compared to what we used to have

I have too much to show you

As the sand slips through my hands

I’ve surrendered

I’ve denied

I’ve held you close

Then tried to die

Left you notes

For my goodbye

I promise I don’t want

To leave this time

I wrote the contract

But can’t remember

who is Judis this time



Maybe this distance

Will help you when I’m gone

Maybe all I’ve published

And what I’ve known

Will live in you as I travel along



Emaciated inside

At this time

Unconditional love is the

Only thing to save me I find

Put your hands on me

Speak tongues — believe I can breathe

I gave you directions

Incase You don’t make it in time

Surrendering fully

To my true divine





November 9th 2021

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