Avatar

I’m trying

I swear

I look within

Taking pictures

Taping words together

Rereading my sanities

Translations

Sometimes makes me weak

.

.

I’m trying

To live this life

All of this

borrowed time

I still have people

Tell me it’s not mine

.

.

Obligations

&

Conditions

Do they factor

Into paying off

My karma

Do I get to be free

One day to explore

All the things I love

Music is my muse

To push me through

These cues

I look up at the sky

And wonder what

I should choose

Then someone calls

My name and I am

Their avatar again

What is it you

need from me

Tell me quick

I’ll give you

whatever you want

Just so I can be with

Myself again

.

.

I’m trying

To bring Union

Within

Feel myself

Heal from the

Divided heartspace

I was raised in

I’m being courageous

Enough to find the demons

& hug their skin

I am you

You are me

Hold my hand

I’ll let you see

All there is

And is to be

It’s all living

inside of me

.

.

I’m trying

Waiting for

Someone to tell

Me it’s not enough

Releasing all these

Insecurities as the

Pathways try to construct

.

.

If I drive my car away

Will I ever come back

If I wave goodbye to you

Will I regret leaving like

It was all my fault

I could’ve done more

Can I deal with what

Others tell me is me

Will I have to take the scissors

They are handing me

Cut them out without

Them knowing they no longer

Get access to me

.

.

I’m trying

Not to disappear

again

This feeling

Is my old friend

Coming in to see

If this is finally

my end

The End

Have I decided that

Trying has had enough

Let’s give in to the friend

Who came to hold me

Till my end

He’s been waiting to

Take me within

Rise me higher

Then my God

forgiven sin

Raise me higher

Then what I tell

myself I am

Ground myself

To this evolution

Spiraling within

I’m trying

Can we quit with

The pretend

Bombs are going off

In my chest

Truths i shackle

Corroding within

Truths i shackle

Where’s my den

.

.

I’m trying

I think that’s

What I’m

trying

to say

Here

.

.

Unifying this vessel

As best I can

Wearing the hats

The world wants

Family wants

Friends want

I ask myself

What I want

.

.

.

What do I want

Am I allowed to want

Who do I ask permission

I’m tired of being so submissive

To the parts of myself

That need to break free

I can’t hide here forever

The light is where it is me

.

.

I’m trying

I swear

Your perspective

Murders me

Stunts me into

A path I know isn’t me

Here I am your avatar

Tell me what you need

From me

Take my guts

And let me breathe

11:35 AM

11:57 AM

Jan 22 2022 = 11