Thoughts or Transmissions —- You Decide

Feeling myself

Turn into light

Looking around

I don’t recognize

Where I am or

Who these people are

Look up and see my life

Flashing before my eyes

Truth or transmissions

You decide

I’m turning further into

Myself the more I find

I can’t believe I was so ignorant

I can’t be alone if I have made it this long

I feel myself turning to the light

What a delight to come home to you

It’s lonely down here on Earth

Especially with these thoughts

Ricocheting on my mind

Let’s just keep reading my mind

See which one is mine

So many thoughts stuck to me

Gotta sage them away

Keep an open air wave to breathe

Lighting candles to save ourselves

Kundalini yoga calls back to me

Hurt so deep breath of fire is what

Came to claim me — digging deeper than

The lyrics to an incubus song

Have I turned into another

Is there anyone else but I to dig me

Up from this hell I am trapped under

I feel like a cautionary tale

Sometimes I wonder how this is real

While I daydream of if you are —-

Don’t finish this thought

Do we share the same reel

I swear these aren’t all my thoughts

Your an app in the background

Slowly driving me to become my

Own version of nuts

So many chains I’ve broken to see

Your face — so many days unspoken

Of the things we can’t replace

I tried —- reset — override —

What to do with this bliss

Inside my chest — a well of opportunity

Fading against my very best

I confess

Gave myself to up above

Can’t handle this divide

This chest is messed up

Something is missing inside

I think my pride is taping

My mouth shut

Astonished at not knowing how

Long I’ve been hiding you

But okay with knowing you’ve

Been there all along

Can’t help it

You fuck me up

You are an unconscious thought

Thieving his way to the right side

Of my brain — she’s waiting — can’t hide

Shows you her chains — smiling — free me

Thoughts or transmissions

You decide

I’m sitting here like one of the greats

Putting everything I have on the line

My cowardly lion costume stripped

Down to see me shaking within

Vulnerability alone is killing me

It’s kinda scary out here in the light

I see predators know I’ve switched sides

Can’t be a traitor when you don’t commune

With the divide — send these gifts back others

Send as their “love “ — best of intentions they say

But they slander with much reserve —

conditional love is what I found

it always was —- what a bust—

sometimes I find myself going

inside to protect myself

Where is this safe place I keep dreaming of

Kansas isn’t forever

So living in temporary

Is getting kinda scary

I’m pulled back to my home state

For the holidays — breathe deep

This is where I loved

So many knowings going on

At one time — I know the cup

Is about to drop — can’t catch it

No such luck — too many lessons

Come from the Phoenix flying away

From the flames on his tail

Draw a map with your new found desire

You’ll find me when you fly higher

Music is keeping me safe

Sending me home to rest up a bunch

There is this path I came here for

There are people I’m supposed to mingle with

Lessons to tinker with

So many doors

Feels like I’m running out of time

Send me back home to rest up

For the rest of this ride

We came here to settle this divide

Thoughts or transmissions

You decide

12:47 pm

November 26th 2021