Releasing the knowing of Temporary

Epiphany after epiphany

Keeps colliding into me

Wether I want these truths

Or not they are coming for me

I can heal myself now

I don’t need anyone to do it for me

But releasing this knowing

Of temporary makes me weak

Inside — forcing me to face

What I can no longer hide

I haven’t been honored

The way that I should

Haven’t set the boundaries

Like I know I could

As these life lessons trample me

I just stare up at the ceiling

Waiting for them to be over

Waiting to be done with me

Just toss me aside

Waiting for them to take what

They want from me

I am empty inside

I can’t fill this part of myself up

I need connection

Not devastation

I need correction

Of these things

I used to tell myself

Was alright

I need to start over

Maybe just hold

Someone’s hand for awhile

Maybe just need a friend

To rest my head on

Feel safe and have my purity

Honored for awhile

I am my own safe space

At this time

Need this isolation

To help myself remind

Can’t cover up in habits

Vices are so dumb

Suppressing me inside myself

Oh God where have I gone

I can’t split myself anymore

I can’t pretend I’m not looking

For you outside my door

I’m about to write a whole

Album telling my deepest truths

Releasing the knowing

Of temporary seems to be my ghost

I don’t think wanting something

That is all mine is asking too much

I don’t think that wanting a mutual connection

Is too far off — some days I feel it’s a crime

All these temporaries dig into me

Everyday — no wonder my favorite

Thing to think is the day I’ll go away

Releasing the knowing of temporary

Is making me crawl into a ball

I know I am strong enough

But some days I just want to fall

If I go back to my cave

No one will call at all

If I go back to my cave

Then I have lost my call

I can’t go back there

I have healed all that despair

I can’t go back there

I can’t go back there

I can’t go back there

.

.

So for now I’m holding

Myself on the ground

Breathing in this ecstasy

I live with in the clouds

I know I am connected

To more but the physical

Would be so nice

To close my eyes and wake up

To true loves breathing light

.

.

10:07 pm

3/16/2022

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