123456 — 654321

If I saw a loss

Is the loss pouring

out of you ?

Hands shaking

People who once loved

Are now just fighting and taking

.

.

Maybe it’s best to not know this you

You’ve worked so hard

But does it mean what you’ve

Worked for was the greener pasture

You were supposed to water all along ?

Any “lessons learned”coming along?

.

.

How long do you stand on the wrong lawn?

How long until you just let go

And realize you are just

Digging in the wrong direction

How many seeds lay waste ?

Over watered —

Never develop taste

You keep going deeper

Into all the wrong places

You keep going deeper

Like this is where you can hide

All your faces

Hide you can

But you know this isn’t right

All your trinkets being taken from you?

Finding out that marital bliss

Just means half of all MY shit ?

Bring nothing to the table

Then leaving with my passions ?

.

.

I believe divorce is a trauma

Most people feel embarrassed

Like a failure

Broken

Emotionally

Financially

Family

It’s all pieces on the floor

A part of this life we wish

We could let go

.

.

I see so many different things

Most importantly

I see no need for a ring

123456

Time and battery charge

Falling in line as I

Write down these visions

My mind is acting out for me

I’m sitting her at work &

The sight doesn’t leave me be

.

.

If this isn’t you then I

Hope you find your own cue

I can’t see anyone’s faces

Just recognize the energy

Feels recycled —-tainted —

.

Break it down

My iambic fuse

.

.

Sirens blaring

Find a muse

Kingdom taring

Sing the blues

Back away

I have nothing to lose

An afterthought

I’m so confused

.

.

.

Start writing

Burn the book

Stare too long

Or take a second look

I see you mad hatter

I dare you

Let this shatter

.

.

Find yourself

No one else matters

.

.

.

I pray for you

Whoever you are

I send you light

You are never that far

.

.

12:45 PM

4-5-21

Hemi – Sync

I talk to you

A lot in

my head

Yet I know

I shouldn’t

Pick up my phone

.

If I get brave enough to

Look at your name

I shut myself down

I can’t have a moment

Like that again

You don’t need

me to crack

Your skull open

And show you

The truth of

What you’ve

been hiding in

.

.

Start your day

With a clean slate

“Helps make every day feel brand new”

.

.

Flip a token

To see what side

Of yourself

You’ll choose today

Don’t look in the mirror

It’s easier that way

.

.

I talk to you a lot

In my head

Something I

Don’t recommend

Admitting right now

.

.

It comes natural

Until you want to

Talk about something

I don’t

It comes natural

Till you pull the wrong

String ; I won’t

I can’t sing

Can’t write

My throat is raw

From yelling at myself

I don’t want to visit

This side of my head

.

.

If I asked you to

Close your eyes

And touch the

Part of your brain

That lights up

When I come to mind

I bet it would

Scare you everytime

Not just one location

I come to find

.

.

I hope you know

I don’t feel like

Picking up my phone

My chest feels constricted

Can’t breath the way I like to

Right now thinking of you

Just a subtle heartbeat

Can’t get through the thick fog

Around you ; the pollution

Is too loud

.

.

I see vices

False niceness

Comfort zone

Sacrifices

Happy ….

Happy life

.

.

Being human is weird

I’m sure being a man is worse

All this pressure on your shoulders

To be a provider , believe that a better

Version of yourself is built by

Sacrificing who you are to someone else

.

Dark night of the soul

Is the only way through

I promise your authentic self

Wont let you ignore this pull

If this was the end then your

Pearl Jam song would be playing loud

I don’t hear the bells ringing or

The End coming for you

But I can assure you it

Wont be me snapping my fingers

Bringing you back on cue

But I see you

Don’t worry friend

I couldn’t stop if I tried

.

You come to mine

Too many times

.

.

Comedically I picture

Your name entering

The left side of my brain

Deciphering where it should

store this lovely being

The security is weak on that side

The bouncer said your name is on the list

Every-time

I’m dancing on the right side

Spinning in circles , dancing

Pantomime

.

.

.

Drifting through Oklahoma

2/8/21

9:29 am

9:44 am

10:01 am

“Read My Mind”

Woke up

&

I remember

I saw you

I lay there

& wonder

What you were

Telling me to do

.

.

Come close

Too close

Smiles show

Embrace me

Far past regret

I saw that

demented smile

Again

.

.

Blinking in a dream

another time approaches

Shows me old houses

Old rooms

Hair long

Like old times

Forgot my life

When I came to

Who is this man

My dream tells me

To look into

I watch myself

Follow this path

I play rewind

There you are

In dreamscape land

.

.

Blink

Present time

Present house

This is mine

I see you laying

On the floor

Crawl between

Now heavens a blur

My head is spinning

The feeling still there

Close my eyes

You continue to stare

Reality is coming quick

Tell me what you

Want me to know

I know I’m

laying too

Close to you

Tell me before I go

.

.

You lean in

As close as I want you to

Wrapped around me

Eyes meet

I’m so alive

Look what you

Made me do

.

.

Your lips move

“Read my mind”

.

Dream chy

Closes her eyes

In your arms

alarm sounds

I disappear everytime.

.

.

.

3:19 PM

3:37 PM

1/13/2021

A Yearn Untamed

I struggle to

Stay connected

To a part of

Myself

The part of myself

I love the most

I’m a ghost

Your a ghost

.

.

Boo

.

I yearn to confide

Inside myself

Be alone &

Fix this

Ocean of

Loneliness

I swim in

I’m terrified of

Water but here I

Am flowing with

The rip tide

Scared I

Might die

It’s getting deeper

Flowing faster

If I fight the current

I’ll drown

I’ve already done

This before

I have to crash

With the waves

Here I go

If this were

Easy it would

Be no fun

No lesson to

Learn

Go back to

The comfort zone

Lay there &

Remember

This isn’t where

You want to be

A coward you

Chose the lion

Suit again

I am OZ

I told you

It’s in you

All along

.

.

Lonely

Lonely

I continuously

Defend

Go back

Go back

.

.

A yearn untamed

Makes me

Disassociate

I’m in love

With you

I’m in love

With this

Vision

I’m closing

My eyes &

Living in

I told you

To go

You stay

As above

So Below

.

.

11:14 AM

11/04/2020

Run Forrest Run

You’ve been waiting for this

You’ll sit and pluck all the

Pedals from a flower

Thinking the answer

Is in the 3 parts that

Lay within

Sitting here confused

Staring at the stigma

Atop of the pistil

As you hold the style

In your hand

Every petal you let

Fall to the floor

Was the magical answer

You needed to know

A burden so to speak

Is the mindset you

Choose to keep

I’m closer to your

Soul than I’ll ever

Be your flesh

Maybe that’s why

I want to run

From you

Instead of

Being thrown

to the wolves

Again and again

When skepticism seeps in

It’s my favorite trait of you

Taking the beauty &

Finding a way to

Redefine its truth

Transmute

Waiting and waiting

To disprove something

So true

Can’t compute

The cutest when

Your dumb- founded

Have you decided to sit

With yourself yet?

No way

Not the time yet

Still living

Freeing yourself

From the chains that

Have shackled you

For years

I’m watching Forrest Gump

Run down the way

Run Gordon run

Metal bursting in every way

The wind helps you

Move faster and faster

the Lord is with you

Ride

he will give you shelter

I’m happy to see a light burn

In you slowly and slowly

It sparks as your mind

Continues to open up

Eyes wide

Head screams

Holy moly

I hope you take those petals

And find a better use for them

I hope you find a way to blend

The universe and your skepticism

For now you should run

Find yourself

Love yourself

Purify the disposition

You consume yourself with

You can go from one side

To the other

Close your heart

For it to open back up

Without permission

Take that energy

Internalize

Redefine

Compute

These things take time

You can’t heal all at once

There are levels my friend

It’s okay to be scared

Not a manly thing to admit

But the discomfort & curiosity

Will propel you forward

Your a dick when your

Too settled in

Don’t stop

Unless it’s to sit with yourself

I recommend finding a connection

With your body ; yourself

I recommend finding a way

To love this angelic skin you’ve

Been gifted In

You are the keeper of many

Glorious realms

You could give shelter

To so many lost within

I could never leave a soul behind

But we have free will

I couldnt damn myself

To play show and tell

If you must lose yourself

In this world then don’t

Call and fake to me

That everything you wanted

To be is lost in the age

You soaked up and

Mistreated miserably

I’ll never give up on your soul

But I can stay away from you

I’m here to one day watch you

Sing a song you finally wrote

Connected with your soul

The blue comes through

You know you can set

Boundaries with me

Tell me when it

Fucks with you

Endlessly

I’m here one day to stop waving

To you from afar

Ask yourself where you

are watering

The grass

Ask yourself if you

live in the present

What intentions do

You set for yourself

Run Forrest run

You’ve got this

So much love surrounding you

One day you find a way

To transmute

Self discovery is not a happy

Journey

You see all of you

All the ones you love

You’ve hurt

You find out how weak

You actually are

Hiding all that truth

Between the world

And a blue guitar

One day just look at the

Flower and let it sit

There in all it’s majestic glory

God put it there to admire

Inspire

Stop worrying about me

I am not apart of your misery

Let go of the control

You think you have

Anxiety fills your veins

While you insist on pushing

Parts of yourself away

She said you have to create

Maybe a baby

Maybe music

He doesn’t realize it’s his choice

But in and out of your life

He will go

Never following through

On intentions he set as a goal

The world might take him

It’s his free will so

Wish him well

& continue to let go

Work on yourself baby

Eb and flow

I’m closer to your Soul

Than I am to your flesh

I’d give anything for you

To see what I see in my

Mind’s eye

I’d give anything for you

To understand your the first

Mind I was gifted to comply

Don’t worry

It is unsettling to me

You think I play it so cool

But you must understand

I am one of the awakened lonely

I’ll hold myself forever

Because no one loves me

More than me

I struggle just as much as you

Wanting to be my friend

I had a weird break down

The other day cause I thought

I should block you

Let go

Send you on your way

You don’t need me

I don’t need you

I saged myself

Decided to send you love

Instead

Don’t worry about me

I have a sight no one

Else can see

Everyone’s internal misery

I see what others cannot

Words you wrote a decade ago

Words you wrote and left

I was left with the eb and flow

I chose to grow

Facing karma I owe

I gave myself to the Lord

He took the chains off of me

Let me breath

Let me be me

He is in me

I am happy

But there is a

maintenance fee

I must admit I will

Always be lonely

I will carry this

Light in me

Until I no longer breath

What a sad day that will be

Until then I shift this world

The way it was destined to be

I am love

Unconditional

I am light

Unconditional

No wonder these

Moths flock to me

Run forest run

You can breath

10:44 AM

11:01 AM

11:10 AM

8/16/20

Wounded Healer

Do you help yourself

By helping others?

Do you carry others

With you like it

Might be your

Own pain ?

Wounded healer

Come to play

A wounded healer

Shift the world

From decay

I see the light in you

Sometimes neglect

The poison that

Influences you

I am a light carrier

The flashlight in the dark

If your scared

Come from afar

The door will open

As soon as you step on

The porch

The door will open

I’ll help you

light this torch

.

.

I am wounded

Never claimed to be

Full

I admit I am whole

But the divine runs

Through me

I except my place in this

Divinity

I can’t be healed

Need to heal everyone else

I can be healed

I can only save myself

.

.

I am whoever you

Need me to be

Won’t judge you

That’s not my way

.

.

I am your flashlight

Turn me on

Hold me close

I won’t go too far

I’ll keep you safe

Out of your safe space

I’ll keep you safe

I’m your saving grace

.

.

I don’t mind being broken

Gold fills my cracks

I don’t mind

I’m outspoken

It’s the skies

That are rolling

Through my mind

.

.

I am a wounded healer

God sends you all to me

I am a wounded healer

Floating across an

endless sea

.

.

Love flows

Unconditional

But I won’t forget myself

Love goes

Unconditional

I won’t forget myself

.

.

.

2:44 PM

8/9/20

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