123456 — 654321

If I saw a loss

Is the loss pouring

out of you ?

Hands shaking

People who once loved

Are now just fighting and taking

.

.

Maybe it’s best to not know this you

You’ve worked so hard

But does it mean what you’ve

Worked for was the greener pasture

You were supposed to water all along ?

Any “lessons learned”coming along?

.

.

How long do you stand on the wrong lawn?

How long until you just let go

And realize you are just

Digging in the wrong direction

How many seeds lay waste ?

Over watered —

Never develop taste

You keep going deeper

Into all the wrong places

You keep going deeper

Like this is where you can hide

All your faces

Hide you can

But you know this isn’t right

All your trinkets being taken from you?

Finding out that marital bliss

Just means half of all MY shit ?

Bring nothing to the table

Then leaving with my passions ?

.

.

I believe divorce is a trauma

Most people feel embarrassed

Like a failure

Broken

Emotionally

Financially

Family

It’s all pieces on the floor

A part of this life we wish

We could let go

.

.

I see so many different things

Most importantly

I see no need for a ring

123456

Time and battery charge

Falling in line as I

Write down these visions

My mind is acting out for me

I’m sitting her at work &

The sight doesn’t leave me be

.

.

If this isn’t you then I

Hope you find your own cue

I can’t see anyone’s faces

Just recognize the energy

Feels recycled —-tainted —

.

Break it down

My iambic fuse

.

.

Sirens blaring

Find a muse

Kingdom taring

Sing the blues

Back away

I have nothing to lose

An afterthought

I’m so confused

.

.

.

Start writing

Burn the book

Stare too long

Or take a second look

I see you mad hatter

I dare you

Let this shatter

.

.

Find yourself

No one else matters

.

.

.

I pray for you

Whoever you are

I send you light

You are never that far

.

.

12:45 PM

4-5-21

Hemi – Sync

I talk to you

A lot in

my head

Yet I know

I shouldn’t

Pick up my phone

.

If I get brave enough to

Look at your name

I shut myself down

I can’t have a moment

Like that again

You don’t need

me to crack

Your skull open

And show you

The truth of

What you’ve

been hiding in

.

.

Start your day

With a clean slate

“Helps make every day feel brand new”

.

.

Flip a token

To see what side

Of yourself

You’ll choose today

Don’t look in the mirror

It’s easier that way

.

.

I talk to you a lot

In my head

Something I

Don’t recommend

Admitting right now

.

.

It comes natural

Until you want to

Talk about something

I don’t

It comes natural

Till you pull the wrong

String ; I won’t

I can’t sing

Can’t write

My throat is raw

From yelling at myself

I don’t want to visit

This side of my head

.

.

If I asked you to

Close your eyes

And touch the

Part of your brain

That lights up

When I come to mind

I bet it would

Scare you everytime

Not just one location

I come to find

.

.

I hope you know

I don’t feel like

Picking up my phone

My chest feels constricted

Can’t breath the way I like to

Right now thinking of you

Just a subtle heartbeat

Can’t get through the thick fog

Around you ; the pollution

Is too loud

.

.

I see vices

False niceness

Comfort zone

Sacrifices

Happy ….

Happy life

.

.

Being human is weird

I’m sure being a man is worse

All this pressure on your shoulders

To be a provider , believe that a better

Version of yourself is built by

Sacrificing who you are to someone else

.

Dark night of the soul

Is the only way through

I promise your authentic self

Wont let you ignore this pull

If this was the end then your

Pearl Jam song would be playing loud

I don’t hear the bells ringing or

The End coming for you

But I can assure you it

Wont be me snapping my fingers

Bringing you back on cue

But I see you

Don’t worry friend

I couldn’t stop if I tried

.

You come to mine

Too many times

.

.

Comedically I picture

Your name entering

The left side of my brain

Deciphering where it should

store this lovely being

The security is weak on that side

The bouncer said your name is on the list

Every-time

I’m dancing on the right side

Spinning in circles , dancing

Pantomime

.

.

.

Drifting through Oklahoma

2/8/21

9:29 am

9:44 am

10:01 am

Dark Whispers —— I Won’t Follow

The whispers

Are coming again

Coming from a distance

I know they want to

Seep in

I’m stuck on a problem

My wheels spinning

On just one thing

That could take

My soul within

.

.

They are coming

They approach

From the ground

Powerful they seem

With no camouflage

I gleam

Here I sit

I start to sing

.

.

I know you are

Coming for me

I can see it in

My minds dreams

I know you

Are coming for me

Whispering screams

.

Lead me astray

Follow a path

Hell bent

On decay

Dead butterflies

Lead the way

.

Together they’ve

Come to face me

Upfront

I tap my head

To disperse them

Even though I am

The hunt

I forget to tell you

I’m stronger than

You think

I forget to tell you

I will not live like

This again

.

.

“You are not worthy

Of love

Not worthy of light

Come sit in the

Darkness

We are your delight

You cannot fight us

The darkness will

Always fight

We will come and find

You right when you

Feel the light

You’ll be halfway up

A wall & we will

crash it down

You’ll fall

We are the truth

The darkness

Coming after you”

.

I am not enough

I do not deserve love

That is what they tell me

.

These Whispers used to

Soothe me now

They’ve turned

Against me

Coming to test me

I cannot fear

What is inside

Of me

.

.

.

I’d rather eat them

When they taunt me

Transmute & even flow

.

A monarch butterfly

I must grow

.

You don’t know

Me anymore darkness

I’ve had to let you go

.

.

6:58 AM

6: 31 PM

7:02 PM

Going Home

I freed myself today

Chose myself

Like I needed to

Didn’t give notice

To the two faced fool

spreading bitterness

Wonder where everyone goes

.

.

.

I freed myself today

I believe the universe

Shines down a golden ray

I took care of myself

I’ll be taken care of everyday

.

.

Remember this feeling everyday

Listening to my body

I tried but it could never feel right

Too much bitterness

No one can stand the presence

Too much disrespect

Never want to see you again

.

.

It’s empowering to help yourself

Even if it’s cold out I won’t stay

Where I know I can’t grow

Even if it’s cold out

I’ll face this world alone

Me myself & I

The universe by my side

Divine continue to shine

.

.

I freed myself today

I’m going home to

My family

The corn fields

Country roads

Bonfires &

Everyone is home

Surround myself

With love

Remember this is

Where I’m from

Reset

Gratitude

Progress

I choose myself

Everyday

10:04 PM

10/26/2020

Channeling with Strangers

Spoke with a psychic

Lastnight

She reached out to me

Told me spirit wouldn’t

Let her be

Told me you

Are all around me

If I could see this energy

What would the colours be?

.

.

.

Spoke with a psychic

Lastnight

She told me everything

Wasn’t alright

Hot and cold

This game gets old

Part of the story

I continue to be told

.

.

.

Meaningless

&

Unfulfilled

Comes from

Her lips

Low vibes

No light

Tell me who

It is you miss?

.

.

I understand

Life is busy

Can’t find a level stance

Unbalanced

Ungrounded

Need solitude

Need your rest

.

.

.

I spoke to a psychic

Lastnight

She promised

Everything would be

Alright

Asked if I knew

My crown was tilted

Not firing right

I told her I can’t

Feel my heartbeat

I miss it

I can’t feel

My guard is up

I’m inside myself again

Can’t comprehend

What my world is doing

I want to feel my heart beat

Against my chest again

I never want that feeling

To go away

I need to feel myself again

I’m so far away from her

I’m trying to come back

I’m trying to connect

Keep getting lost

With people who

Are just foes

I see right through this

Karmic mess

Here I am

Documenting

What I won’t confess

Here I go

Back to the wrong show

There are no musicians here

No art to compare

.

.

Here I am

Stardust in a suit

Staring at my hands

She said I have a

Long life to live

.

.

All I can do is exhale

All I can do is call out

Life guide

Life line

Help me purify

This divide

Help me find balance

Inside of me

Head in the clouds

Hands searching for

The right mudra

Heart space come back to me

Heart beat come face me

.

.

.

11:35 AM

10/16/2020

Where you focus———————There the energy goes

So where are you

In that head of yours

I see myself slouching down

Going deaf

Don’t want to hear your sound

Anymore

I’m going down

Just at the sight of you

I’m going down

Don’t want to be around you

My energy has been focused

On all the wrong things

Taking away from me

I get angry

Annoyed

Want to tell you to go

Just go

Where you focus

There the energy goes—

I need to go

I am looking out

There is my energy flow

Looking up

There is my frequency show

Ungrounded

Need to center

Myself

Go

Clean my glasses

Blink my eyes

A few hundred times

.

.

Tap between my brow

Where you focus

There the energy goes —-

.

.

.

3:25 PM

Flying over

the Midwest

Nothing & Everything

Of all the versions

Of you I know

Why are you so scared

To show me this one?

.

.

Of all the You’s

I’ve met

Why is it so hard

To confess this one?

.

.

I’m the one that

Remembers everything

Yet I’m the one

Who is kindest

To your evolution

.

.

Didn’t even kick

You when you

Needed it

.

.

Who is this man

Who I talk to?

Do you know

Who is you?

Is this what is

Stopping you

From joining

Ebb and flow ?

.

.

You don’t know

Yourself?

Lonely

You confess

.

.

Dive deeper

My favorite mess

.

.

I see you looking

Inside yourself

.

.

Keep going

Keep growing

When your mind

Settles down

Come show me

.

.

Flow with me

Show me songs

I’m dying to see

Take me to

Places that are

Meant to be

.

.

One day we will

Laugh at this age

We thought was a tease

.

.

Laugh at the way

We treated the breeze.

.

.

Time goes by

.

.

I remember everything

.

I’m still here rooting

For you

I remember every song

Don’t make me wait

Too long

.

.

I remember everything

I’m gonna sing you a song

Please start remembering

Everything

I won’t be around too long

1:01 AM

Be-You-Tiful You-Niverse

Well would you

Look at that

It was in us all along

This is my life

Our plane

My soul

Lessons

games

No “better than “here”

Where are we anyway?

Floating in space

Not even a base

Just rotating

Slowly fading

.

.

Ever think of why words

Are s-p-e-l-l-e-d 🧙🏻‍♀️

Manifested one letter at a time

Pondering where thoughts

Come from when it has been

The borrowed light within

All along

.

.

Be – you -tiful

He wrote

You-niverse she saw

What funny synchronicites

That continuously connect us all

.

.

I feel like I broke my view

Can’t stay in one

World anymore

So many beautiful

Things flying around us

No one sees this

But scattered souls

Destined to have

Found us

.

I hold this all so close

To my chest

The only thing your holding

To your chest is a pile of cards

Dumb founded when you’ve

Gone too far

.

Oh I did it again

.

.

Better and better

The music man plays

Clearer and clearer

The old soul sings

We tuck different things

Into our chest

I don’t have armor

It’s unconditional love

Red rover

Red rover

Won’t you come on over

Chauffeur

Me through this

Plane we are blessed

To breath

.

.

Can’t believe it was

In us this whole time

Look at my hands

Still have youth

I suppose

Not dead

I refuse

I’ve found this

overwhelming flow

Ever flowing glow

Don’t need this

Earthly ambien again

.

Remember

Remember

It’s the only way

This will end

Remember

Remember

Learn this lesson

Again

Over and over

Let’s play pretend

We don’t know the

Definition of

Karma again

Continue away from

The meaningless

Progression

Can I

Wake up?

Or shall I lay here again ?

Come back “ play the game“

Forget again

Come back to

Karma & Epiphany

Again

Tattoo it on your wrists

So you don’t slice them again

Come back to the good & evil again

Tattoo them so he doesn’t mark your skin

Fight for yourself

Your worth the soul within

Fight for yourself

“ Your enough “

In the end.

.

.

.

.

.

10:38 PM

1:37 AM

9-4-20

11:11

Nothing in this place

Compares to you

Nothing in this space

Scares me more than you

11:10 as I write this page

11:11 as I shutter at the ways

On and on these days come on

11:11 I want you to sing me a song

Confess to me

Show less to me

I’m spinning in circles

Watch me caress me

Ever loving

Let me breath

11:11 come take me

11:11 PM

8/27/20

Run Forrest Run

You’ve been waiting for this

You’ll sit and pluck all the

Pedals from a flower

Thinking the answer

Is in the 3 parts that

Lay within

Sitting here confused

Staring at the stigma

Atop of the pistil

As you hold the style

In your hand

Every petal you let

Fall to the floor

Was the magical answer

You needed to know

A burden so to speak

Is the mindset you

Choose to keep

I’m closer to your

Soul than I’ll ever

Be your flesh

Maybe that’s why

I want to run

From you

Instead of

Being thrown

to the wolves

Again and again

When skepticism seeps in

It’s my favorite trait of you

Taking the beauty &

Finding a way to

Redefine its truth

Transmute

Waiting and waiting

To disprove something

So true

Can’t compute

The cutest when

Your dumb- founded

Have you decided to sit

With yourself yet?

No way

Not the time yet

Still living

Freeing yourself

From the chains that

Have shackled you

For years

I’m watching Forrest Gump

Run down the way

Run Gordon run

Metal bursting in every way

The wind helps you

Move faster and faster

the Lord is with you

Ride

he will give you shelter

I’m happy to see a light burn

In you slowly and slowly

It sparks as your mind

Continues to open up

Eyes wide

Head screams

Holy moly

I hope you take those petals

And find a better use for them

I hope you find a way to blend

The universe and your skepticism

For now you should run

Find yourself

Love yourself

Purify the disposition

You consume yourself with

You can go from one side

To the other

Close your heart

For it to open back up

Without permission

Take that energy

Internalize

Redefine

Compute

These things take time

You can’t heal all at once

There are levels my friend

It’s okay to be scared

Not a manly thing to admit

But the discomfort & curiosity

Will propel you forward

Your a dick when your

Too settled in

Don’t stop

Unless it’s to sit with yourself

I recommend finding a connection

With your body ; yourself

I recommend finding a way

To love this angelic skin you’ve

Been gifted In

You are the keeper of many

Glorious realms

You could give shelter

To so many lost within

I could never leave a soul behind

But we have free will

I couldnt damn myself

To play show and tell

If you must lose yourself

In this world then don’t

Call and fake to me

That everything you wanted

To be is lost in the age

You soaked up and

Mistreated miserably

I’ll never give up on your soul

But I can stay away from you

I’m here to one day watch you

Sing a song you finally wrote

Connected with your soul

The blue comes through

You know you can set

Boundaries with me

Tell me when it

Fucks with you

Endlessly

I’m here one day to stop waving

To you from afar

Ask yourself where you

are watering

The grass

Ask yourself if you

live in the present

What intentions do

You set for yourself

Run Forrest run

You’ve got this

So much love surrounding you

One day you find a way

To transmute

Self discovery is not a happy

Journey

You see all of you

All the ones you love

You’ve hurt

You find out how weak

You actually are

Hiding all that truth

Between the world

And a blue guitar

One day just look at the

Flower and let it sit

There in all it’s majestic glory

God put it there to admire

Inspire

Stop worrying about me

I am not apart of your misery

Let go of the control

You think you have

Anxiety fills your veins

While you insist on pushing

Parts of yourself away

She said you have to create

Maybe a baby

Maybe music

He doesn’t realize it’s his choice

But in and out of your life

He will go

Never following through

On intentions he set as a goal

The world might take him

It’s his free will so

Wish him well

& continue to let go

Work on yourself baby

Eb and flow

I’m closer to your Soul

Than I am to your flesh

I’d give anything for you

To see what I see in my

Mind’s eye

I’d give anything for you

To understand your the first

Mind I was gifted to comply

Don’t worry

It is unsettling to me

You think I play it so cool

But you must understand

I am one of the awakened lonely

I’ll hold myself forever

Because no one loves me

More than me

I struggle just as much as you

Wanting to be my friend

I had a weird break down

The other day cause I thought

I should block you

Let go

Send you on your way

You don’t need me

I don’t need you

I saged myself

Decided to send you love

Instead

Don’t worry about me

I have a sight no one

Else can see

Everyone’s internal misery

I see what others cannot

Words you wrote a decade ago

Words you wrote and left

I was left with the eb and flow

I chose to grow

Facing karma I owe

I gave myself to the Lord

He took the chains off of me

Let me breath

Let me be me

He is in me

I am happy

But there is a

maintenance fee

I must admit I will

Always be lonely

I will carry this

Light in me

Until I no longer breath

What a sad day that will be

Until then I shift this world

The way it was destined to be

I am love

Unconditional

I am light

Unconditional

No wonder these

Moths flock to me

Run forest run

You can breath

10:44 AM

11:01 AM

11:10 AM

8/16/20

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