123456 — 654321

If I saw a loss

Is the loss pouring

out of you ?

Hands shaking

People who once loved

Are now just fighting and taking

.

.

Maybe it’s best to not know this you

You’ve worked so hard

But does it mean what you’ve

Worked for was the greener pasture

You were supposed to water all along ?

Any “lessons learned”coming along?

.

.

How long do you stand on the wrong lawn?

How long until you just let go

And realize you are just

Digging in the wrong direction

How many seeds lay waste ?

Over watered —

Never develop taste

You keep going deeper

Into all the wrong places

You keep going deeper

Like this is where you can hide

All your faces

Hide you can

But you know this isn’t right

All your trinkets being taken from you?

Finding out that marital bliss

Just means half of all MY shit ?

Bring nothing to the table

Then leaving with my passions ?

.

.

I believe divorce is a trauma

Most people feel embarrassed

Like a failure

Broken

Emotionally

Financially

Family

It’s all pieces on the floor

A part of this life we wish

We could let go

.

.

I see so many different things

Most importantly

I see no need for a ring

123456

Time and battery charge

Falling in line as I

Write down these visions

My mind is acting out for me

I’m sitting her at work &

The sight doesn’t leave me be

.

.

If this isn’t you then I

Hope you find your own cue

I can’t see anyone’s faces

Just recognize the energy

Feels recycled —-tainted —

.

Break it down

My iambic fuse

.

.

Sirens blaring

Find a muse

Kingdom taring

Sing the blues

Back away

I have nothing to lose

An afterthought

I’m so confused

.

.

.

Start writing

Burn the book

Stare too long

Or take a second look

I see you mad hatter

I dare you

Let this shatter

.

.

Find yourself

No one else matters

.

.

.

I pray for you

Whoever you are

I send you light

You are never that far

.

.

12:45 PM

4-5-21

Hemi – Sync

I talk to you

A lot in

my head

Yet I know

I shouldn’t

Pick up my phone

.

If I get brave enough to

Look at your name

I shut myself down

I can’t have a moment

Like that again

You don’t need

me to crack

Your skull open

And show you

The truth of

What you’ve

been hiding in

.

.

Start your day

With a clean slate

“Helps make every day feel brand new”

.

.

Flip a token

To see what side

Of yourself

You’ll choose today

Don’t look in the mirror

It’s easier that way

.

.

I talk to you a lot

In my head

Something I

Don’t recommend

Admitting right now

.

.

It comes natural

Until you want to

Talk about something

I don’t

It comes natural

Till you pull the wrong

String ; I won’t

I can’t sing

Can’t write

My throat is raw

From yelling at myself

I don’t want to visit

This side of my head

.

.

If I asked you to

Close your eyes

And touch the

Part of your brain

That lights up

When I come to mind

I bet it would

Scare you everytime

Not just one location

I come to find

.

.

I hope you know

I don’t feel like

Picking up my phone

My chest feels constricted

Can’t breath the way I like to

Right now thinking of you

Just a subtle heartbeat

Can’t get through the thick fog

Around you ; the pollution

Is too loud

.

.

I see vices

False niceness

Comfort zone

Sacrifices

Happy ….

Happy life

.

.

Being human is weird

I’m sure being a man is worse

All this pressure on your shoulders

To be a provider , believe that a better

Version of yourself is built by

Sacrificing who you are to someone else

.

Dark night of the soul

Is the only way through

I promise your authentic self

Wont let you ignore this pull

If this was the end then your

Pearl Jam song would be playing loud

I don’t hear the bells ringing or

The End coming for you

But I can assure you it

Wont be me snapping my fingers

Bringing you back on cue

But I see you

Don’t worry friend

I couldn’t stop if I tried

.

You come to mine

Too many times

.

.

Comedically I picture

Your name entering

The left side of my brain

Deciphering where it should

store this lovely being

The security is weak on that side

The bouncer said your name is on the list

Every-time

I’m dancing on the right side

Spinning in circles , dancing

Pantomime

.

.

.

Drifting through Oklahoma

2/8/21

9:29 am

9:44 am

10:01 am

“Read My Mind”

Woke up

&

I remember

I saw you

I lay there

& wonder

What you were

Telling me to do

.

.

Come close

Too close

Smiles show

Embrace me

Far past regret

I saw that

demented smile

Again

.

.

Blinking in a dream

another time approaches

Shows me old houses

Old rooms

Hair long

Like old times

Forgot my life

When I came to

Who is this man

My dream tells me

To look into

I watch myself

Follow this path

I play rewind

There you are

In dreamscape land

.

.

Blink

Present time

Present house

This is mine

I see you laying

On the floor

Crawl between

Now heavens a blur

My head is spinning

The feeling still there

Close my eyes

You continue to stare

Reality is coming quick

Tell me what you

Want me to know

I know I’m

laying too

Close to you

Tell me before I go

.

.

You lean in

As close as I want you to

Wrapped around me

Eyes meet

I’m so alive

Look what you

Made me do

.

.

Your lips move

“Read my mind”

.

Dream chy

Closes her eyes

In your arms

alarm sounds

I disappear everytime.

.

.

.

3:19 PM

3:37 PM

1/13/2021

Channeling with Strangers

Spoke with a psychic

Lastnight

She reached out to me

Told me spirit wouldn’t

Let her be

Told me you

Are all around me

If I could see this energy

What would the colours be?

.

.

.

Spoke with a psychic

Lastnight

She told me everything

Wasn’t alright

Hot and cold

This game gets old

Part of the story

I continue to be told

.

.

.

Meaningless

&

Unfulfilled

Comes from

Her lips

Low vibes

No light

Tell me who

It is you miss?

.

.

I understand

Life is busy

Can’t find a level stance

Unbalanced

Ungrounded

Need solitude

Need your rest

.

.

.

I spoke to a psychic

Lastnight

She promised

Everything would be

Alright

Asked if I knew

My crown was tilted

Not firing right

I told her I can’t

Feel my heartbeat

I miss it

I can’t feel

My guard is up

I’m inside myself again

Can’t comprehend

What my world is doing

I want to feel my heart beat

Against my chest again

I never want that feeling

To go away

I need to feel myself again

I’m so far away from her

I’m trying to come back

I’m trying to connect

Keep getting lost

With people who

Are just foes

I see right through this

Karmic mess

Here I am

Documenting

What I won’t confess

Here I go

Back to the wrong show

There are no musicians here

No art to compare

.

.

Here I am

Stardust in a suit

Staring at my hands

She said I have a

Long life to live

.

.

All I can do is exhale

All I can do is call out

Life guide

Life line

Help me purify

This divide

Help me find balance

Inside of me

Head in the clouds

Hands searching for

The right mudra

Heart space come back to me

Heart beat come face me

.

.

.

11:35 AM

10/16/2020

Where you focus———————There the energy goes

So where are you

In that head of yours

I see myself slouching down

Going deaf

Don’t want to hear your sound

Anymore

I’m going down

Just at the sight of you

I’m going down

Don’t want to be around you

My energy has been focused

On all the wrong things

Taking away from me

I get angry

Annoyed

Want to tell you to go

Just go

Where you focus

There the energy goes—

I need to go

I am looking out

There is my energy flow

Looking up

There is my frequency show

Ungrounded

Need to center

Myself

Go

Clean my glasses

Blink my eyes

A few hundred times

.

.

Tap between my brow

Where you focus

There the energy goes —-

.

.

.

3:25 PM

Flying over

the Midwest

Wishing Well

What a perfect pit

Of forgetfulness

I was gifted

To lay my demons with

.

.

I can throw anything

I want down this

Wishing well

It echos all my

Wishes and all

Of my woes

.

.

Throwing a quarter

I hear it drop all

the way down

Throwing a memory

How far till it drowns

.

.

I guess in the end

You are my safe place

Coming and going

I look through this space

Closing my eyes

Your the sound

In the bass

.

.

I could stare down

This well forever

Hello

.

.

Hello

.

.

Echo

Echo

.

.

.

.

What a perfect pit

Of forgetfulness

I’ve left my demons with

He has the key

only I remember

Where I went

And laid me

.

.

I know in your chest

Where this company

Stays

I know in your brain

Where my secret

It lays

.

.

Miles apart

Wouldn’t matter

Where you are

.

.

It was Proven

to me

Physical body

Isn’t all there

Is to be

I remember

Sharing frequencies

With me

I remember confiding

Daringly

I sit on my well

Spouting my tell

Stare down my well

Come echo

Come spell

I know what is

Down there

Do you care to tell?

I know what is

down there

I visit so well

.

.

Hey wishing well

You’ve always been enough

Hey wishing well

Thank you so much

What would I do

If I didn’t have you

Who would I be

If it wasn’t you and me

.

.

Here comes

another quarter

I toss it down below

Keep my secrets

I’ll come back

I’m the only one

Who can open

that door

9:51 PM

9/5/20

Be-You-Tiful You-Niverse

Well would you

Look at that

It was in us all along

This is my life

Our plane

My soul

Lessons

games

No “better than “here”

Where are we anyway?

Floating in space

Not even a base

Just rotating

Slowly fading

.

.

Ever think of why words

Are s-p-e-l-l-e-d 🧙🏻‍♀️

Manifested one letter at a time

Pondering where thoughts

Come from when it has been

The borrowed light within

All along

.

.

Be – you -tiful

He wrote

You-niverse she saw

What funny synchronicites

That continuously connect us all

.

.

I feel like I broke my view

Can’t stay in one

World anymore

So many beautiful

Things flying around us

No one sees this

But scattered souls

Destined to have

Found us

.

I hold this all so close

To my chest

The only thing your holding

To your chest is a pile of cards

Dumb founded when you’ve

Gone too far

.

Oh I did it again

.

.

Better and better

The music man plays

Clearer and clearer

The old soul sings

We tuck different things

Into our chest

I don’t have armor

It’s unconditional love

Red rover

Red rover

Won’t you come on over

Chauffeur

Me through this

Plane we are blessed

To breath

.

.

Can’t believe it was

In us this whole time

Look at my hands

Still have youth

I suppose

Not dead

I refuse

I’ve found this

overwhelming flow

Ever flowing glow

Don’t need this

Earthly ambien again

.

Remember

Remember

It’s the only way

This will end

Remember

Remember

Learn this lesson

Again

Over and over

Let’s play pretend

We don’t know the

Definition of

Karma again

Continue away from

The meaningless

Progression

Can I

Wake up?

Or shall I lay here again ?

Come back “ play the game“

Forget again

Come back to

Karma & Epiphany

Again

Tattoo it on your wrists

So you don’t slice them again

Come back to the good & evil again

Tattoo them so he doesn’t mark your skin

Fight for yourself

Your worth the soul within

Fight for yourself

“ Your enough “

In the end.

.

.

.

.

.

10:38 PM

1:37 AM

9-4-20

Run Forrest Run

You’ve been waiting for this

You’ll sit and pluck all the

Pedals from a flower

Thinking the answer

Is in the 3 parts that

Lay within

Sitting here confused

Staring at the stigma

Atop of the pistil

As you hold the style

In your hand

Every petal you let

Fall to the floor

Was the magical answer

You needed to know

A burden so to speak

Is the mindset you

Choose to keep

I’m closer to your

Soul than I’ll ever

Be your flesh

Maybe that’s why

I want to run

From you

Instead of

Being thrown

to the wolves

Again and again

When skepticism seeps in

It’s my favorite trait of you

Taking the beauty &

Finding a way to

Redefine its truth

Transmute

Waiting and waiting

To disprove something

So true

Can’t compute

The cutest when

Your dumb- founded

Have you decided to sit

With yourself yet?

No way

Not the time yet

Still living

Freeing yourself

From the chains that

Have shackled you

For years

I’m watching Forrest Gump

Run down the way

Run Gordon run

Metal bursting in every way

The wind helps you

Move faster and faster

the Lord is with you

Ride

he will give you shelter

I’m happy to see a light burn

In you slowly and slowly

It sparks as your mind

Continues to open up

Eyes wide

Head screams

Holy moly

I hope you take those petals

And find a better use for them

I hope you find a way to blend

The universe and your skepticism

For now you should run

Find yourself

Love yourself

Purify the disposition

You consume yourself with

You can go from one side

To the other

Close your heart

For it to open back up

Without permission

Take that energy

Internalize

Redefine

Compute

These things take time

You can’t heal all at once

There are levels my friend

It’s okay to be scared

Not a manly thing to admit

But the discomfort & curiosity

Will propel you forward

Your a dick when your

Too settled in

Don’t stop

Unless it’s to sit with yourself

I recommend finding a connection

With your body ; yourself

I recommend finding a way

To love this angelic skin you’ve

Been gifted In

You are the keeper of many

Glorious realms

You could give shelter

To so many lost within

I could never leave a soul behind

But we have free will

I couldnt damn myself

To play show and tell

If you must lose yourself

In this world then don’t

Call and fake to me

That everything you wanted

To be is lost in the age

You soaked up and

Mistreated miserably

I’ll never give up on your soul

But I can stay away from you

I’m here to one day watch you

Sing a song you finally wrote

Connected with your soul

The blue comes through

You know you can set

Boundaries with me

Tell me when it

Fucks with you

Endlessly

I’m here one day to stop waving

To you from afar

Ask yourself where you

are watering

The grass

Ask yourself if you

live in the present

What intentions do

You set for yourself

Run Forrest run

You’ve got this

So much love surrounding you

One day you find a way

To transmute

Self discovery is not a happy

Journey

You see all of you

All the ones you love

You’ve hurt

You find out how weak

You actually are

Hiding all that truth

Between the world

And a blue guitar

One day just look at the

Flower and let it sit

There in all it’s majestic glory

God put it there to admire

Inspire

Stop worrying about me

I am not apart of your misery

Let go of the control

You think you have

Anxiety fills your veins

While you insist on pushing

Parts of yourself away

She said you have to create

Maybe a baby

Maybe music

He doesn’t realize it’s his choice

But in and out of your life

He will go

Never following through

On intentions he set as a goal

The world might take him

It’s his free will so

Wish him well

& continue to let go

Work on yourself baby

Eb and flow

I’m closer to your Soul

Than I am to your flesh

I’d give anything for you

To see what I see in my

Mind’s eye

I’d give anything for you

To understand your the first

Mind I was gifted to comply

Don’t worry

It is unsettling to me

You think I play it so cool

But you must understand

I am one of the awakened lonely

I’ll hold myself forever

Because no one loves me

More than me

I struggle just as much as you

Wanting to be my friend

I had a weird break down

The other day cause I thought

I should block you

Let go

Send you on your way

You don’t need me

I don’t need you

I saged myself

Decided to send you love

Instead

Don’t worry about me

I have a sight no one

Else can see

Everyone’s internal misery

I see what others cannot

Words you wrote a decade ago

Words you wrote and left

I was left with the eb and flow

I chose to grow

Facing karma I owe

I gave myself to the Lord

He took the chains off of me

Let me breath

Let me be me

He is in me

I am happy

But there is a

maintenance fee

I must admit I will

Always be lonely

I will carry this

Light in me

Until I no longer breath

What a sad day that will be

Until then I shift this world

The way it was destined to be

I am love

Unconditional

I am light

Unconditional

No wonder these

Moths flock to me

Run forest run

You can breath

10:44 AM

11:01 AM

11:10 AM

8/16/20

I was thinking 🌗

Hey

I was thinking

Of leaving you

Can’t do it anymore

I had so much fun

With you lastnight

But I saw who you were

Can’t look past these

Blocks you choose

.

.

.

Hey

I was thinking

Of leaving you

Makes me sad

Thought we were close

.

.

.

I had so much

fun with you

But I can’t stand

What you choose

.

.

.

My friend

My friend

I knew it would end

My friend

My friend

Don’t need you

Won’t bend

My friend

My friend

Thank you for

This time

We’ve had

It’s only been

Two years

And I can’t count

All the ways

I’ve processed

Your tears

.

.

It’s so hard

To be friends

With me

I’ll give and I’ll give

Until I confess

That you just take

It’s not your intention

But no boundaries

shine a ray

.

.

My energy is low

When I am in

Your presence

My friend

I was there for you

I watched you

Process 20 years

Of grief through me

I let you do it

So effortlessly

I’ll ground your pain

It’s what I usually do

I see you now

You don’t need me

No clue

My friend

My friend

I am growing away

My friend

My friend

Won’t come back

One day

I’ve done this

Before

Scattered friends

Near and far

I am so empty when

You take from me

All of you

Never replace my energy

Dear lord

Dear lord

Will I ever find a friend

Who sends back

Their energy from within

.

.

.

I know I’ve felt it before

I was 19 and so very low

.

.

Hey

I was thinking

About leaving you

Didn’t like the conversation

You made me sit through

.

.

Hey

I think I’m gonna leave you

Let time run it’s course

Let God do his chores

Removing the people

Who don’t help me grow

.

.

So many • chords •

Stuck to me

Need to cut them

Before I can’t breath

Let you feel

Your disease

.

.

I wish I felt sorry

For feeling this way

But Hey I love you

In every single way

.

.

I let go

Acknowledge the truth

Send my pain to the

Ground below

Lift my head up

It’s the end of the show

Hey

I’m leaving you today.

1:33 PM

2:12 PM

8/9/20

Take Take Take

Never thought

That I would feel

like this

Such a mess when

I’m in your presence

.

.

PVRIS killed

Me with this

Wasn’t my heart

That sank

But lately I’ve excepted

This sight is my fate

Tried to shut it down

Almost a year ago

But God came back

Said no baby

Flow

.

.

I see spirits

I see energy

I see lines of karma

Enraging me

Got to ground it

Not mine

Not mine

Not mine

.

.

.

It scares me sometimes

To see what everybody hides

Can’t have a normal

Conversation

When I know your

Dying inside

Don’t tell me your fine

I can’t stand it

This time

I’ve been lied to

For years

Smiled kindly

While I fight back

your tears

What a life I chose

Jeremiah come close

Tell me who

Needs me the most

Is it me?

Is it you ?

I hope your guides

Come & push

you through

.

.

You’re so old

Yet you act

Like this is

Your first incarnation

You act so old

Mind rotting

Like a self inflicted

Infestation

.

.

Looks like I’ve been

Driving this car

The whole time

I swore it was you

.

.

I can’t get over

How be-you-tiful

You are

My mind plays

tricks on me

Makes you my mirage

I lost my mind right?

.

.

If I were dying in a desert

You’d be my last thought

If I were lying on a feather

Id tangle with this tether

Come on baby

Let’s go play with leather

.

.

I can’t get over how lonely

You were

.

(Are)

.

My head hangs low

Rubbing my temples

In disbelief

I never knew I was

As lonely as you

Thought it was just me

Living the definition

Of pathetic

Killing myself

Pretending it was

Somebody else

Who could be my medic

.

.

Faking my way

Never knowing

What was true

Looking back

Like I always do

Thinking of ways

I never helped you

Picking you apart

So I can make an

Excuse for why I

Don’t need you

Picking me apart

So I can find an excuse

For why you aren’t my muse

.

.

It’s all lies

I have a demented smile

When I lie to myself

I know this won’t last forever

But your the only one

That makes time stand still

The cars go by you

18 wheelers flying behind you

All I can see is you

In this parking lot

I know you forgot

.

.

What’s the use of

This conversation

When you shove it

To your safe space

what’s the use of

This confession

When you hang up

And keep it encased

.

.

What is meant to be

Will be

I need you to know

If I could stop

I think I would

.

Inhale

Exhale

.

Absolutely nothing

Against you

You just make it

Too much

I’m already isolated

Enough

I don’t need to sit

Here and daydream

Of your touch

It makes me shake a little

You get me pretty fucked up

Noises I die to make

Grabbing at skin

That needs drilled in

Take

9:02 AM

8/5/20

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