Wishing Well

What a perfect pit

Of forgetfulness

I was gifted

To lay my demons with

.

.

I can throw anything

I want down this

Wishing well

It echos all my

Wishes and all

Of my woes

.

.

Throwing a quarter

I hear it drop all

the way down

Throwing a memory

How far till it drowns

.

.

I guess in the end

You are my safe place

Coming and going

I look through this space

Closing my eyes

Your the sound

In the bass

.

.

I could stare down

This well forever

Hello

.

.

Hello

.

.

Echo

Echo

.

.

.

.

What a perfect pit

Of forgetfulness

I’ve left my demons with

He has the key

only I remember

Where I went

And laid me

.

.

I know in your chest

Where this company

Stays

I know in your brain

Where my secret

It lays

.

.

Miles apart

Wouldn’t matter

Where you are

.

.

It was Proven

to me

Physical body

Isn’t all there

Is to be

I remember

Sharing frequencies

With me

I remember confiding

Daringly

I sit on my well

Spouting my tell

Stare down my well

Come echo

Come spell

I know what is

Down there

Do you care to tell?

I know what is

down there

I visit so well

.

.

Hey wishing well

You’ve always been enough

Hey wishing well

Thank you so much

What would I do

If I didn’t have you

Who would I be

If it wasn’t you and me

.

.

Here comes

another quarter

I toss it down below

Keep my secrets

I’ll come back

I’m the only one

Who can open

that door

9:51 PM

9/5/20

Be-You-Tiful You-Niverse

Well would you

Look at that

It was in us all along

This is my life

Our plane

My soul

Lessons

games

No “better than “here”

Where are we anyway?

Floating in space

Not even a base

Just rotating

Slowly fading

.

.

Ever think of why words

Are s-p-e-l-l-e-d 🧙🏻‍♀️

Manifested one letter at a time

Pondering where thoughts

Come from when it has been

The borrowed light within

All along

.

.

Be – you -tiful

He wrote

You-niverse she saw

What funny synchronicites

That continuously connect us all

.

.

I feel like I broke my view

Can’t stay in one

World anymore

So many beautiful

Things flying around us

No one sees this

But scattered souls

Destined to have

Found us

.

I hold this all so close

To my chest

The only thing your holding

To your chest is a pile of cards

Dumb founded when you’ve

Gone too far

.

Oh I did it again

.

.

Better and better

The music man plays

Clearer and clearer

The old soul sings

We tuck different things

Into our chest

I don’t have armor

It’s unconditional love

Red rover

Red rover

Won’t you come on over

Chauffeur

Me through this

Plane we are blessed

To breath

.

.

Can’t believe it was

In us this whole time

Look at my hands

Still have youth

I suppose

Not dead

I refuse

I’ve found this

overwhelming flow

Ever flowing glow

Don’t need this

Earthly ambien again

.

Remember

Remember

It’s the only way

This will end

Remember

Remember

Learn this lesson

Again

Over and over

Let’s play pretend

We don’t know the

Definition of

Karma again

Continue away from

The meaningless

Progression

Can I

Wake up?

Or shall I lay here again ?

Come back “ play the game“

Forget again

Come back to

Karma & Epiphany

Again

Tattoo it on your wrists

So you don’t slice them again

Come back to the good & evil again

Tattoo them so he doesn’t mark your skin

Fight for yourself

Your worth the soul within

Fight for yourself

“ Your enough “

In the end.

.

.

.

.

.

10:38 PM

1:37 AM

9-4-20

11:11

Nothing in this place

Compares to you

Nothing in this space

Scares me more than you

11:10 as I write this page

11:11 as I shutter at the ways

On and on these days come on

11:11 I want you to sing me a song

Confess to me

Show less to me

I’m spinning in circles

Watch me caress me

Ever loving

Let me breath

11:11 come take me

11:11 PM

8/27/20

Run Forrest Run

You’ve been waiting for this

You’ll sit and pluck all the

Pedals from a flower

Thinking the answer

Is in the 3 parts that

Lay within

Sitting here confused

Staring at the stigma

Atop of the pistil

As you hold the style

In your hand

Every petal you let

Fall to the floor

Was the magical answer

You needed to know

A burden so to speak

Is the mindset you

Choose to keep

I’m closer to your

Soul than I’ll ever

Be your flesh

Maybe that’s why

I want to run

From you

Instead of

Being thrown

to the wolves

Again and again

When skepticism seeps in

It’s my favorite trait of you

Taking the beauty &

Finding a way to

Redefine its truth

Transmute

Waiting and waiting

To disprove something

So true

Can’t compute

The cutest when

Your dumb- founded

Have you decided to sit

With yourself yet?

No way

Not the time yet

Still living

Freeing yourself

From the chains that

Have shackled you

For years

I’m watching Forrest Gump

Run down the way

Run Gordon run

Metal bursting in every way

The wind helps you

Move faster and faster

the Lord is with you

Ride

he will give you shelter

I’m happy to see a light burn

In you slowly and slowly

It sparks as your mind

Continues to open up

Eyes wide

Head screams

Holy moly

I hope you take those petals

And find a better use for them

I hope you find a way to blend

The universe and your skepticism

For now you should run

Find yourself

Love yourself

Purify the disposition

You consume yourself with

You can go from one side

To the other

Close your heart

For it to open back up

Without permission

Take that energy

Internalize

Redefine

Compute

These things take time

You can’t heal all at once

There are levels my friend

It’s okay to be scared

Not a manly thing to admit

But the discomfort & curiosity

Will propel you forward

Your a dick when your

Too settled in

Don’t stop

Unless it’s to sit with yourself

I recommend finding a connection

With your body ; yourself

I recommend finding a way

To love this angelic skin you’ve

Been gifted In

You are the keeper of many

Glorious realms

You could give shelter

To so many lost within

I could never leave a soul behind

But we have free will

I couldnt damn myself

To play show and tell

If you must lose yourself

In this world then don’t

Call and fake to me

That everything you wanted

To be is lost in the age

You soaked up and

Mistreated miserably

I’ll never give up on your soul

But I can stay away from you

I’m here to one day watch you

Sing a song you finally wrote

Connected with your soul

The blue comes through

You know you can set

Boundaries with me

Tell me when it

Fucks with you

Endlessly

I’m here one day to stop waving

To you from afar

Ask yourself where you

are watering

The grass

Ask yourself if you

live in the present

What intentions do

You set for yourself

Run Forrest run

You’ve got this

So much love surrounding you

One day you find a way

To transmute

Self discovery is not a happy

Journey

You see all of you

All the ones you love

You’ve hurt

You find out how weak

You actually are

Hiding all that truth

Between the world

And a blue guitar

One day just look at the

Flower and let it sit

There in all it’s majestic glory

God put it there to admire

Inspire

Stop worrying about me

I am not apart of your misery

Let go of the control

You think you have

Anxiety fills your veins

While you insist on pushing

Parts of yourself away

She said you have to create

Maybe a baby

Maybe music

He doesn’t realize it’s his choice

But in and out of your life

He will go

Never following through

On intentions he set as a goal

The world might take him

It’s his free will so

Wish him well

& continue to let go

Work on yourself baby

Eb and flow

I’m closer to your Soul

Than I am to your flesh

I’d give anything for you

To see what I see in my

Mind’s eye

I’d give anything for you

To understand your the first

Mind I was gifted to comply

Don’t worry

It is unsettling to me

You think I play it so cool

But you must understand

I am one of the awakened lonely

I’ll hold myself forever

Because no one loves me

More than me

I struggle just as much as you

Wanting to be my friend

I had a weird break down

The other day cause I thought

I should block you

Let go

Send you on your way

You don’t need me

I don’t need you

I saged myself

Decided to send you love

Instead

Don’t worry about me

I have a sight no one

Else can see

Everyone’s internal misery

I see what others cannot

Words you wrote a decade ago

Words you wrote and left

I was left with the eb and flow

I chose to grow

Facing karma I owe

I gave myself to the Lord

He took the chains off of me

Let me breath

Let me be me

He is in me

I am happy

But there is a

maintenance fee

I must admit I will

Always be lonely

I will carry this

Light in me

Until I no longer breath

What a sad day that will be

Until then I shift this world

The way it was destined to be

I am love

Unconditional

I am light

Unconditional

No wonder these

Moths flock to me

Run forest run

You can breath

10:44 AM

11:01 AM

11:10 AM

8/16/20

I was thinking 🌗

Hey

I was thinking

Of leaving you

Can’t do it anymore

I had so much fun

With you lastnight

But I saw who you were

Can’t look past these

Blocks you choose

.

.

.

Hey

I was thinking

Of leaving you

Makes me sad

Thought we were close

.

.

.

I had so much

fun with you

But I can’t stand

What you choose

.

.

.

My friend

My friend

I knew it would end

My friend

My friend

Don’t need you

Won’t bend

My friend

My friend

Thank you for

This time

We’ve had

It’s only been

Two years

And I can’t count

All the ways

I’ve processed

Your tears

.

.

It’s so hard

To be friends

With me

I’ll give and I’ll give

Until I confess

That you just take

It’s not your intention

But no boundaries

shine a ray

.

.

My energy is low

When I am in

Your presence

My friend

I was there for you

I watched you

Process 20 years

Of grief through me

I let you do it

So effortlessly

I’ll ground your pain

It’s what I usually do

I see you now

You don’t need me

No clue

My friend

My friend

I am growing away

My friend

My friend

Won’t come back

One day

I’ve done this

Before

Scattered friends

Near and far

I am so empty when

You take from me

All of you

Never replace my energy

Dear lord

Dear lord

Will I ever find a friend

Who sends back

Their energy from within

.

.

.

I know I’ve felt it before

I was 19 and so very low

.

.

Hey

I was thinking

About leaving you

Didn’t like the conversation

You made me sit through

.

.

Hey

I think I’m gonna leave you

Let time run it’s course

Let God do his chores

Removing the people

Who don’t help me grow

.

.

So many • chords •

Stuck to me

Need to cut them

Before I can’t breath

Let you feel

Your disease

.

.

I wish I felt sorry

For feeling this way

But Hey I love you

In every single way

.

.

I let go

Acknowledge the truth

Send my pain to the

Ground below

Lift my head up

It’s the end of the show

Hey

I’m leaving you today.

1:33 PM

2:12 PM

8/9/20

Karmic Konfection

Another day

Another dollar

I guess that’s what

They used to say

I find myself in

More money than

When I hustled

All 7 days

Funny how life feels

When you let go

I never had control

Just anxiety

Anyways

I’m not giving up

I’m just realizing

The anxiety route

Isn’t the way to go

I have nothing to prove

Only want to live

I have nothing to prove

I’m backing away from

This one way give

Curiosity has got

Me taking another

Direction

Taking my time

In this karmic confection

I believe I’m getting a

Do over

My mind isn’t overcome

With fear

I found a way to

Talk to her

Be a friend

More to her than

To anyone else

I say things like

You good chy?

Getting a little tired?

I check in with me

And just for a second

Fuck everyone else

I know I’m a giver

I’ll give until my

lungs run out

It’s easy to take

advantage of me

I’m banking on the

Light I see in you

Not to burn out

Is it my fault

I believe karma

Will see us through?

I don’t want to be a

Shitty person

I want to leave you

Better than I found you

Why couldn’t I have started

Out like that?

I guess I used to ask myself

“Why is this happening to me”

It sends out a boomerang of desperate

Energy

I Observed others happiness

Like it was an impossible asana

.

.

Now I have flipped

I am the light

I say

“Why is this happening for me?”

I never give my mind

Statements

Just continuous questions

I have a constant conversation

With myself ; day in / day out

I take responsibility for my

Energy

How happy I am

I did that

When I get low

I got my back

It’s really dark out here

I used to look for a light

It’s really dark out here

But I’m the fucking

Flashlight

I take responsibility

For my energy

I take responsibility

For the ones God sends to me

“Leave them better than what you

Found them “ but don’t lose yourself

Trying to save just one

So if it’s a hello

I hope you find the time to say

Hello back

No strings attached

If it’s a marriage your

Waiting to watch the

Eb and flow

Goodluck

A man made concept

Has no use in the spirit world

Such guilt those vows

Can bring

In the end it’s just a

Man made pain

Truly meant to bind

Materialistic things

For better or worse doesn’t

Mean my soul for your happiness

I can’t live without myself

For better or worse doesn’t mean

I have to pay for everything

I can’t help but be a little pissed at

These stupid rings

What has it done to us

Sometimes this just stings

Another day

Another dollar

One day there

Won’t be anything

But The Father

So I sit well with myself

I continue to confess

I am not less

I am not my job

I am not my things

I am not your soul

You have to stand on

Your own

This marriage did not

Combine us

The way you choose to see

This marriage did not bind us

This is my soul to keep.

I wave to you

Tangled in fruit

I wave to you

God give you a boost

Sit still for a moment

& Listen well

You think your fucked now?

Just wait till your next tell

I see things others cannot

But I promise you

I will not rot.

.

.

.

11:17 PM

08/06/20

Take Take Take

Never thought

That I would feel

like this

Such a mess when

I’m in your presence

.

.

PVRIS killed

Me with this

Wasn’t my heart

That sank

But lately I’ve excepted

This sight is my fate

Tried to shut it down

Almost a year ago

But God came back

Said no baby

Flow

.

.

I see spirits

I see energy

I see lines of karma

Enraging me

Got to ground it

Not mine

Not mine

Not mine

.

.

.

It scares me sometimes

To see what everybody hides

Can’t have a normal

Conversation

When I know your

Dying inside

Don’t tell me your fine

I can’t stand it

This time

I’ve been lied to

For years

Smiled kindly

While I fight back

your tears

What a life I chose

Jeremiah come close

Tell me who

Needs me the most

Is it me?

Is it you ?

I hope your guides

Come & push

you through

.

.

You’re so old

Yet you act

Like this is

Your first incarnation

You act so old

Mind rotting

Like a self inflicted

Infestation

.

.

Looks like I’ve been

Driving this car

The whole time

I swore it was you

.

.

I can’t get over

How be-you-tiful

You are

My mind plays

tricks on me

Makes you my mirage

I lost my mind right?

.

.

If I were dying in a desert

You’d be my last thought

If I were lying on a feather

Id tangle with this tether

Come on baby

Let’s go play with leather

.

.

I can’t get over how lonely

You were

.

(Are)

.

My head hangs low

Rubbing my temples

In disbelief

I never knew I was

As lonely as you

Thought it was just me

Living the definition

Of pathetic

Killing myself

Pretending it was

Somebody else

Who could be my medic

.

.

Faking my way

Never knowing

What was true

Looking back

Like I always do

Thinking of ways

I never helped you

Picking you apart

So I can make an

Excuse for why I

Don’t need you

Picking me apart

So I can find an excuse

For why you aren’t my muse

.

.

It’s all lies

I have a demented smile

When I lie to myself

I know this won’t last forever

But your the only one

That makes time stand still

The cars go by you

18 wheelers flying behind you

All I can see is you

In this parking lot

I know you forgot

.

.

What’s the use of

This conversation

When you shove it

To your safe space

what’s the use of

This confession

When you hang up

And keep it encased

.

.

What is meant to be

Will be

I need you to know

If I could stop

I think I would

.

Inhale

Exhale

.

Absolutely nothing

Against you

You just make it

Too much

I’m already isolated

Enough

I don’t need to sit

Here and daydream

Of your touch

It makes me shake a little

You get me pretty fucked up

Noises I die to make

Grabbing at skin

That needs drilled in

Take

9:02 AM

8/5/20

Kundalini Restrained Coiled

I can’t find it

in a book

So I guess

I’ll write one

.

.

I can’t seem

To write a song

So I guess

I’ll go find one

Been covering

for years

Skipping past

The tears

How has it

Come to this?

.

.

If I spelt Karma

With a “C”

Could you

translate

It to me?

Show me

One more time

That my presence

Is the key

.

.

.

.

.

.

What do you picture

In your mind?

I want to write

It out for you

Might have to draw

A web with this tangled

String you’ve toiled

Kundalini restrained coiled

.

.

.

Can you believe it’s

Been so long ?

And I still

Want to lay on

This floor with you

Write me a song

.

.

Forgot how to

shut my eyes

I got lost in yours

You fool

.

.

Can you believe

What is going on

That I’ve already

Been through it too?

.

.

If I could write a song

I don’t think I could ever

Hum along

My throat is still

Wrapped in shame

Someone’s pain

Still stops me

From singing my range

.

.

.

I picture the stage

Fantasize I’m on

That page &

Carry someone’s

Guitar home too

.

.

I guess I have to

Write it

Isn’t it supposed to be

My truth?

I’m just exhausted

Can’t fight it

I was born loving you

Who is you

When you aren’t true

To the skin you chose

To walk within

Who is you

My heart sends me to

An endless ocean blue

I have no strings

To tangle

No lion left to wrangle

Maybe that’s the danger

In me that lurks in you

I have no strings

For you

Just a fate

I choose to acknowledge

I have no strings for you

Just dark clubs and

Tangled chains

I picture you

I picture you

I picture you

Endlessly this

Flows through me

Endlessly this heart

Will see

Everything that is

Meant to be

Don’t worry

Don’t worry

You are right

Where fate

Needs you to be

Remember me

I can’t forget you

Remember me

And you’ll push

On through

.

.

.

.

.

12:53 PM = 11

8/4/20

Vulnerable

Be vulnerable with me

I won’t hate who you are

.

.

.

Breath with me

Give me who you are

I won’t make you feel bad

For the things you want

I won’t make you think

You are less

For what you

won’t flaunt

.

.

.

Tell me the truth

In writing

In words that have

Been stuck for years

.

.

Flow with me

In this endless dance

You always hold back

The tears

.

.

I can heal you

Like I’ve healed myself

I can show you

What you won’t confess

A longing

A nurture

A sweet loves

Caress

.

.

Come on

Confess

Confess

.

.

.

Bring your mind to me

Lay it inside of me

I’ll keep it forever

Like I already have

I’ll keep you forever

You know that I have

.

.

I am nothing to fear

No pedestal here

Take me down from there

I’m standing right here

.

.

It’s okay

I confess

I could never

love you less

It’s okay

I confess

You have never

Been a mess

.

.

Let’s confess

Let’s confess

I’ll be vulnerable too

Come show me a visual

Of the hell you’ve been through

.

.

Kiss my forehead

My hand

And my ass

Come play with me

I’ll take off my mask

.

.

only for you

The voice is so true

Only for you

I won’t shuffle

You through

.

.

.

Start writing

Keep fighting

No failure

You are going

Through

.

.

This fence hurts

Pull up my skirts

And show me

Who you are

.

.

Be vulnerable with me

Tell me the truth

Please let me see

Everything you’ve

Been hiding from me

.

.

.

12:26 AM

7/27/20

Iambian Twist

My eyes are closed

I can feel my breath

.

.

It’s moving down

Slowly

I’m so close to this

I confess

No one is around

To tell me I’m less

No one is around

So let me confess

.

.

Put my head down

I reach for my crown

I can feel my breath

Release what I have left

To be found

.

.

Your inside of me

Inside of my head

I can’t let you go

Or I’d surely be dead

I thought it was you

Who was pulling me

Through

Eyes closed

I catch my breath

Your the only one

I have left

.

.

Eyes closed

Help me lose

This regret

I’ll never let

Myself go again

Cheyenne

I love you

This is our breath

Cheyenne

I want to

Combine

With this chest

.

.

Let me inside

I’ll stay awake

This time

Let me inside

I won’t let you die

.

.

Let me inside

I won’t ever lie

Let me inside

Your mine

Your mine

.

.

.

.

.

My eyes are closed

I’m breathing

I’m too much

Too much

Too much

For one

.

.

So vulnerable here

Alone

In this mirror

So vulnerable here

God

let me see clear

.

.

I’m reminded

I’m leaving

Elevated from

Myself

.

I’m flying

Come with me

Feel your heart beat

It’s me

come through

.

.

Come with me

I’m flying

I promise

I won’t lose you

.

.

Come with me

Your shying

From who you

Are too

.

.

Eyes closed

I hold my breath

Kundalini come up

My spine

Fill me with your caress

I confess

I confess

I confess

.

.

.

7:02 PM = 9

+

07/20/20 = 11

9+1+1=11

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