Can you speak Tongues?

I’d rather speak in

Pictures

Riddles

&

Rhymes

.

.

Metaphors

You don’t care to speak

Nor see

That is me

Wrapped up in

A mystical being

.

.

So divine

.

.

It can get lonely here

Luckily my mind

Is here

I’m not lost this time

Luckily my chakras

Are trying to clear

I am the only one

That can help me

See clear

This time

.

.

.

I’d rather speak in

Synchronicities & signs

Then feel you

Roll your eyes

Misunderstandings

Claim you everytime

Skepticism takes the magic

From your mind

Kills the kundalini

Everytime

.

.

.

I am a spirit

Always ready to roam

Can’t keep me contained

I’m out on my own

You are a spirit

Lost on the phone

Can’t keep you mundane

You’re getting so cold

.

.

Riddles

&

Rhymes

Their all sent to me

Riddles

&

Rhymes

Languages translated

To me

.

.

.

Not mine ; not yours

Glossolalia

Xenoglossy

I’ll show them to you

I’ll show them to you

I’ll show them to you

.

.

Use my advice this time

Set yourself free

It doesn’t mean you’ll

Be with me

But if you set yourself free

I will be able to breath

.

.

I sound so dramatic

I don’t need you

I swear

I sound so dramatic

Run your fingers

Through my hair

.

.

I’d rather speak to God

Than wait around for you

I’d rather speak to God

He is making me in tune

.

.

Can you speaks tongues ?

I’d really like to see

If you speak tongues

Would it set your soul free?

.

.

Are you strong enough

On your own

Looking down at your phone

Thinking when you call me soon

Faking , hide your tone

.

.

There is a bind here

Isn’t it clear?

A hermit draws near

While an emperor

Shows fear

Oh dear

Oh dear

Oh dear

Just a year

Just a year

Just a year

8:21 PM

8:39 PM

8/9/20

I was thinking 🌗

Hey

I was thinking

Of leaving you

Can’t do it anymore

I had so much fun

With you lastnight

But I saw who you were

Can’t look past these

Blocks you choose

.

.

.

Hey

I was thinking

Of leaving you

Makes me sad

Thought we were close

.

.

.

I had so much

fun with you

But I can’t stand

What you choose

.

.

.

My friend

My friend

I knew it would end

My friend

My friend

Don’t need you

Won’t bend

My friend

My friend

Thank you for

This time

We’ve had

It’s only been

Two years

And I can’t count

All the ways

I’ve processed

Your tears

.

.

It’s so hard

To be friends

With me

I’ll give and I’ll give

Until I confess

That you just take

It’s not your intention

But no boundaries

shine a ray

.

.

My energy is low

When I am in

Your presence

My friend

I was there for you

I watched you

Process 20 years

Of grief through me

I let you do it

So effortlessly

I’ll ground your pain

It’s what I usually do

I see you now

You don’t need me

No clue

My friend

My friend

I am growing away

My friend

My friend

Won’t come back

One day

I’ve done this

Before

Scattered friends

Near and far

I am so empty when

You take from me

All of you

Never replace my energy

Dear lord

Dear lord

Will I ever find a friend

Who sends back

Their energy from within

.

.

.

I know I’ve felt it before

I was 19 and so very low

.

.

Hey

I was thinking

About leaving you

Didn’t like the conversation

You made me sit through

.

.

Hey

I think I’m gonna leave you

Let time run it’s course

Let God do his chores

Removing the people

Who don’t help me grow

.

.

So many • chords •

Stuck to me

Need to cut them

Before I can’t breath

Let you feel

Your disease

.

.

I wish I felt sorry

For feeling this way

But Hey I love you

In every single way

.

.

I let go

Acknowledge the truth

Send my pain to the

Ground below

Lift my head up

It’s the end of the show

Hey

I’m leaving you today.

1:33 PM

2:12 PM

8/9/20

Kundalini Restrained Coiled

I can’t find it

in a book

So I guess

I’ll write one

.

.

I can’t seem

To write a song

So I guess

I’ll go find one

Been covering

for years

Skipping past

The tears

How has it

Come to this?

.

.

If I spelt Karma

With a “C”

Could you

translate

It to me?

Show me

One more time

That my presence

Is the key

.

.

.

.

.

.

What do you picture

In your mind?

I want to write

It out for you

Might have to draw

A web with this tangled

String you’ve toiled

Kundalini restrained coiled

.

.

.

Can you believe it’s

Been so long ?

And I still

Want to lay on

This floor with you

Write me a song

.

.

Forgot how to

shut my eyes

I got lost in yours

You fool

.

.

Can you believe

What is going on

That I’ve already

Been through it too?

.

.

If I could write a song

I don’t think I could ever

Hum along

My throat is still

Wrapped in shame

Someone’s pain

Still stops me

From singing my range

.

.

.

I picture the stage

Fantasize I’m on

That page &

Carry someone’s

Guitar home too

.

.

I guess I have to

Write it

Isn’t it supposed to be

My truth?

I’m just exhausted

Can’t fight it

I was born loving you

Who is you

When you aren’t true

To the skin you chose

To walk within

Who is you

My heart sends me to

An endless ocean blue

I have no strings

To tangle

No lion left to wrangle

Maybe that’s the danger

In me that lurks in you

I have no strings

For you

Just a fate

I choose to acknowledge

I have no strings for you

Just dark clubs and

Tangled chains

I picture you

I picture you

I picture you

Endlessly this

Flows through me

Endlessly this heart

Will see

Everything that is

Meant to be

Don’t worry

Don’t worry

You are right

Where fate

Needs you to be

Remember me

I can’t forget you

Remember me

And you’ll push

On through

.

.

.

.

.

12:53 PM = 11

8/4/20

The Sight

I’ve found

The sight again

And it showed

Me you

Showed me a

You

I’ve never been

Introduced to

A you I don’t know

Don’t like

Won’t grow

He’s flipping these

Pages with no

Answer in sight

He sees my name

And it gives him

Panic and delight

I can’t believe

What I saw

Picked up my phone

And threw up

On you

I’m so pissed

At what I just saw

You do

Have you faced

Your karma ?

Do you listen

To yourself ?

Your still going

And asking

Somebody else?!

Oh god

How I get it

I get it all

Too well

I see you

I see you

It puts me

Through hell

You are protected

But you push away

Your guidance

I can feel you

When you say those things

I promise you

I’m not so bad

You haven’t processed me

In all the years you’ve known

Me

You haven’t processed me

I’m too woo woo

For your brain

Continue this path

I see you

Continue this thought

Process

I fucking dare you

I’m not at mad at you

Just see so much more

Than the voices

You listen to

I see so much

That I’m confused

Which one is you

I want you here

But who are you?

I want you here

But who are you?

I’ll know it’s you

When you can finally

love yourself

I’ll know it’s you

When you won’t

Disappear again

I’ll know when your hot

Isn’t my cold

When my excitement

Isn’t met with a wall

It’s been lifetimes

And I’m still so

Patient with this

Binding truth.

3:36 PM

5:04 PM

7/21/20

Iambian Twist

My eyes are closed

I can feel my breath

.

.

It’s moving down

Slowly

I’m so close to this

I confess

No one is around

To tell me I’m less

No one is around

So let me confess

.

.

Put my head down

I reach for my crown

I can feel my breath

Release what I have left

To be found

.

.

Your inside of me

Inside of my head

I can’t let you go

Or I’d surely be dead

I thought it was you

Who was pulling me

Through

Eyes closed

I catch my breath

Your the only one

I have left

.

.

Eyes closed

Help me lose

This regret

I’ll never let

Myself go again

Cheyenne

I love you

This is our breath

Cheyenne

I want to

Combine

With this chest

.

.

Let me inside

I’ll stay awake

This time

Let me inside

I won’t let you die

.

.

Let me inside

I won’t ever lie

Let me inside

Your mine

Your mine

.

.

.

.

.

My eyes are closed

I’m breathing

I’m too much

Too much

Too much

For one

.

.

So vulnerable here

Alone

In this mirror

So vulnerable here

God

let me see clear

.

.

I’m reminded

I’m leaving

Elevated from

Myself

.

I’m flying

Come with me

Feel your heart beat

It’s me

come through

.

.

Come with me

I’m flying

I promise

I won’t lose you

.

.

Come with me

Your shying

From who you

Are too

.

.

Eyes closed

I hold my breath

Kundalini come up

My spine

Fill me with your caress

I confess

I confess

I confess

.

.

.

7:02 PM = 9

+

07/20/20 = 11

9+1+1=11

Wake Up

Evil doesn’t hide in the dark anymore.


Evil hides right Infront of us


Counting on us to believe


It would never come out of the shadows

But it has been here

Infront of all of us

For so long

Wake up World

et suavis et fortis

What do you want to leave for the world?∴

What do you want to put your name on and die next to saying it is your creation?

                                    is it your unshaken faith               …            Is it the endless ladder you climb?                 …


 Is it the family you love and nurture?                     …                           Who will mourn you when you pass.

Is it what you’ll pass down to your children            …                            your generation? even the next?


If someone dug up the remains of your life…      what do you want them to find?

I look hard at myself and the opportunities i have in my hands in the upcoming months and i woke today with a thought.

Is this what i want to leave for the world? If i had to watch, after i pass , how i impacted the world. Am i doing enough?

                                                                                                                Did i help enough?

                                       or did i hurt enough?


My great aunts passing provoked some thoughts toward this. Her spirit was pleasant and brave. She raised her family,

her beautiful family grew and extended into more who extend the traits of her center. She loved her Lord and she loved her family.

These two things are what i remember the best of this women.

Always Smiling.

She impacted so many lives in positive ways it’s a sad day on the Earth to hear her passing.

Letting the pain escape the circumstances I can’t help but focus on what she left behind and be blown away at the simplicity and depth she provided our family.

Pleasant and Brave

Is this what i want to leave the world? My writings? My understandings?

If it helps one person.

If you can help someone through this.

if i can help myself.

simply.

yes.

♥Pleasant and Brave.♥


Vincit omnia amor- Love conquers all

Vincit omnia veritas-Τruth conquers all

Vita mutatur, non tollitur-Life is changed, not taken away∴

Candles in the Dark

Picture anyone that sticks out in your mind when you think of a “helper” in this journey we call life. Not your mother or father or even siblings just someone who was there in the most perfect way and it took you some time to realize it. Narrow it down a bit more…

Think about a time in your life where you felt so lost that you didn’t want your immediate friends or family to know just how lost you were. There is always someone there to help us like a candle in that darkness. Who is your candle?

We meet so many people in our lifetime. Some are good some are bad and some are just unforgettable. Either way they are put in our lives for reasons we don’t understand but we deal with and live with. I have many names and faces that come into my mind when describing a candle but sadly this candles light had burnt out after I’d realized what he had done for me. There are many times in my short lived life where I have felt “lost.” It seems in being this ,off the beaten path, soul God places many candles along the way. Some in plain sight and others are disguised. Every kid leaving high school truly does not know what their in for unless their parents have given them a full proof step by step tested Aced and passed life exam…(this doesn’t exist where I come from) Parents do the best they can with the circumstances and surroundings their dealt with. So leaving a cycle of school-summer-school-summer from pre-K till graduation on the Senior (12) year on paper looks progressive but in reality and mentally it messes with you to put it nicely. Everyone asks you what you want to do where you want to be. Some say you don’t need to know you will figure it out. The usual things you would say to someone getting ready to start a new chapter in their lives.. I kept trying to take in the change as easily as I could but I was like a duck in a pond paddling like hell underneath while calm on top. My best friend felt the same way and wanted to ravel in the life that we had known since pre-k. Growing up in a town with yields signs and corn fields only means boys with Chevy trucks, cattails, duel exhaust and brush guards. My best friend Linny found a guy who had the truck the farm the four-wheeler and the best friend for me to tag along too. This all happened two weeks before graduation and lasted almost 6 weeks past. Dan was the boys name. He had a copy of his parents credit card and footed the bill for everything. We wanted to go shopping ,eat, drive around all day in his jacked up truck blaring music as the subs from under our seat took us away to wherever we wanted to go. It was a carefree time in all four of our lives. We didn’t have no place to be and no jobs to go to at the time. Living off your parents, graduation money and your best friends boyfriend pampering you seemed like a cushy way to get over the “what’s after high school bit? ” Being the kids we were we put no thought into anything. We shot guns while floating four wheelers over a pond on Dan’s property. We spent our nights telling our parents we’re at each others house while we lived out at Dan’s parents farm equip with a small kind-of hunting lodge with all the main necessities, cooking New York strips, rib-eyes and filets on a grill. Fishing on a pond and road-tripping wherever we wanted to as fast as we wanted to. We were kids. We were invincible. As the four of us entertained each other for a couple months past graduation eventually real life kept on living and showing its double sworded-side. We had fun times but we were all just kids and kids do what they do…discover new girls and move on or vise versa. Eventually Dan and his friend became stories for us to talk and laugh about the older we got. “Remember that one time!” Is how it usually started. He drove us to everything involved in graduation. Including purchasing roses from Linny and I when we showed up. He knew how to whew a women if his money wasn’t enough. He had a funny personality and something that took me years to figure out the most about him was that he was genuinely a very good soul. The way of the world tends to throw us into roles we don’t always fit and it can cover up the true being of our nature and way. Then again he was 20 with the whole “I’m Country” thing going on so looking for a golden Aura really isn’t my bit at age 18 either. I write about this candle today because I woke up two days ago to this man being on the front page of every newspaper and station in town. Not for a key to the city award either. His house caught fire with his Fiancé and 4-month old child inside. She was the only survivor. Dan and his baby were found in the kitchen and declared dead within 30 minutes of emergency personnel finding them. As I write it I want to let the details wash over the reader and myself as a moment of silence is needed every time this story is stated. Those aren’t details to take in so easy especially with the mental image. Its an eyesore of captivation. I call my old friends associated with Dan back in those days. Everyone in shock especially knowing none of us kept in touch after our times together. We waved and said hello how are you in public but nothing more. I saw him and  his baby with his fiancé at my job one time and wondered the type of man he’d become from the last encounter I had. He had the best cleanest jeans from the buckle. With the best shirt either button-up or Affliction. He had an attitude of if its broke or stained throw it away and swipe a card. The last time I saw this man he had holes in his jeans and stains like he’d farmed or worked on an oil rig with a scruffy beard and a cut off t-shirt. Not the Dan I remember except this. He dated several of my friends through high school and bought a couple of them promise rings. ( yes , I said a couple of them) Always backing out and returning what he didn’t understand that ring actually meant. He took responsibility for his baby Hunter and quit thinking his parents were always going to support him and his outlandish spending. He was going in the process of opening his own business as well as raising his 4-month of baby with his fiancé. Dan had dreams and plans and responsibilities, not the guy I remembered, how could it be I knew Dan the boy not Dan the man. Through the days after his passing as I wait for his visitation to near it takes me back to every time he had ever entered my life. The times he took us to his parents house, the farm, shopping, the conversation. Just everything he did for me in that time of my life. I believe Dan was lost at the time we met. He had a good heart even in the time of his most in mature moments. I can’t believe I have to go his funeral to say thank you. I cant believe it took me till he passed for me to realize what a candle he was. What a disguise he was in such a time in my life. As I read the newspaper headlines they dig more into his life and the man he was. They interviewed his boss and several friends. Its all just heart breaking. The police broke through a window and a wall to get this mother out through the basement as Dan and the baby tried to go upstairs and out. It did not happen the way he saw it in his head. I hope he didn’t suffer. He was trying to rescue his son what better pass into Heaven do you need if its a mandatory trip?

 

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