et suavis et fortis

What do you want to leave for the world?∴

What do you want to put your name on and die next to saying it is your creation?

                                    is it your unshaken faith               …            Is it the endless ladder you climb?                 …


 Is it the family you love and nurture?                     …                           Who will mourn you when you pass.

Is it what you’ll pass down to your children            …                            your generation? even the next?


If someone dug up the remains of your life…      what do you want them to find?

I look hard at myself and the opportunities i have in my hands in the upcoming months and i woke today with a thought.

Is this what i want to leave for the world? If i had to watch, after i pass , how i impacted the world. Am i doing enough?

                                                                                                                                                              DId i help enough?

                                       or did i hurt enough?


My great aunts passing provoked some thoughts toward this. Her spirit was pleasant and brave. She raised her family,

her beautiful family grew and extended into more who extend the traits of her center. She loved her Lord and she loved her family.

These two things are what i remember the best of this women.

Always Smiling.

She impacted so many lives in positive ways it’s a sad day on the Earth to hear her passing.

Letting the pain escape the circumstances I can’t help but focus on what she left behind and be blown away at the simplicity and depth she provided our family.

Pleasant and Brave

Is this what i want to leave the world? My writings? My understandings?

If it helps one person.

If you can help someone through this.

if i can help myself.

simply.

yes.

♥Pleasant and Brave.♥


Vincit omnia amor- Love conquers all

Vincit omnia veritas-Τruth conquers all

Vita mutatur, non tollitur-Life is changed, not taken away∴

I Want More

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I choose to live

Well I’ve decided to start my travel fund. Not just a work at the same job, save up money, go for a vacation then come back and plan a new sense of adventure to fantasize about to get me through the next couple months. My spirit needs something…so much more. I say it to myself as a realization everyday even though I continue to deny myself the truth. It seeps through; I Want More.

More Options.
More knowledge.

More Music
More Adventure.

More Work.

More.

More.
More.
Is this world my oyster?
Can I set out and live free?
Is the world kind enough to let me?

So long I have dark thoughts and fears that have almost submersed my soul into a submissive state. I admit to disassociating and daydreaming of what if’s and could’ve been. I feel I have daily realizations and this one I’ve been hit with lately is a doozie. Can I call you an Epiphany?
Could this sense of feeling !so right! Be the path I’ve been waiting for?

I ask myself so many questions but admit I don’t answer most of them. I want to live an recap later. Writing an documenting from these starting thoughts. Some thing’s might not need to be shared. I plan on crossing the line and knocking MYSELF down a peg or two. Opening my eyes and my mind to what this world and God has planned for me. I wake up feeling like I’m truly planning a purpose.

The greatest journey
of my life is
about to begin.

This is my  Anthem to get me through it. Can you feel it when the beat hits you. Close your eyes and listen…

This is the Beginning…Songbird…Rebirth…

When I let myself realize what I’m leaving behind I try to understand just how much time is against me on planning the next 6-9 months of my life. To start I have created this blog and a very simple yet humbling page (asiruniritechyly.com) (About- the truth was written on my wrist )Rambling what’s been going through my mind with all the sense of change I’m about to take in.

I’m auctioning my belongings on eBay and other sites and saving up for my travel fund. What I can keep I shall store in my backpack and the rest are memories I keep and memories to be made.

The starting process of this is compared to… Making a
Mountain.
Out of a Molehill.

I’m registering to sites to sell these belongings and working at my lovely server position. While hoarding a tax return meant for a car but who needs a car when you can just rent a car, rideshare, or remember the good lord gave you two working feet to put down on this ground everyday.

If I were to say I wasn’t nervous I would be lying. I’m terrified!!!! I have worldly fears and I’ve watched too much lifetime and CNN to clog my mind with a mugging scene as I walk out my front door. However the bigger fear of mine is to be sitting in a chair being a 90 year old women looking back on her life with a bunch of regrets. Not experiencing, never truly living and always giving into the belief that your life should be lived a certain way. College a certain age. Marriage by a certain age. Children by a certain age. This is my life. Only God can judge me and be there for me at all times. Only he knows what is in store for me and what is pulsing through my veins as I write these words to …. (Whoever chose to read this…thanks!)

Is this what I’ve been waiting for?
Is this my epiphany?
I keep looking down at my wrist
And rereading…
The truth is undeniable.

 

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