123456 — 654321

If I saw a loss

Is the loss pouring

out of you ?

Hands shaking

People who once loved

Are now just fighting and taking

.

.

Maybe it’s best to not know this you

You’ve worked so hard

But does it mean what you’ve

Worked for was the greener pasture

You were supposed to water all along ?

Any “lessons learned”coming along?

.

.

How long do you stand on the wrong lawn?

How long until you just let go

And realize you are just

Digging in the wrong direction

How many seeds lay waste ?

Over watered —

Never develop taste

You keep going deeper

Into all the wrong places

You keep going deeper

Like this is where you can hide

All your faces

Hide you can

But you know this isn’t right

All your trinkets being taken from you?

Finding out that marital bliss

Just means half of all MY shit ?

Bring nothing to the table

Then leaving with my passions ?

.

.

I believe divorce is a trauma

Most people feel embarrassed

Like a failure

Broken

Emotionally

Financially

Family

It’s all pieces on the floor

A part of this life we wish

We could let go

.

.

I see so many different things

Most importantly

I see no need for a ring

123456

Time and battery charge

Falling in line as I

Write down these visions

My mind is acting out for me

I’m sitting her at work &

The sight doesn’t leave me be

.

.

If this isn’t you then I

Hope you find your own cue

I can’t see anyone’s faces

Just recognize the energy

Feels recycled —-tainted —

.

Break it down

My iambic fuse

.

.

Sirens blaring

Find a muse

Kingdom taring

Sing the blues

Back away

I have nothing to lose

An afterthought

I’m so confused

.

.

.

Start writing

Burn the book

Stare too long

Or take a second look

I see you mad hatter

I dare you

Let this shatter

.

.

Find yourself

No one else matters

.

.

.

I pray for you

Whoever you are

I send you light

You are never that far

.

.

12:45 PM

4-5-21

Dark Whispers —— I Won’t Follow

The whispers

Are coming again

Coming from a distance

I know they want to

Seep in

I’m stuck on a problem

My wheels spinning

On just one thing

That could take

My soul within

.

.

They are coming

They approach

From the ground

Powerful they seem

With no camouflage

I gleam

Here I sit

I start to sing

.

.

I know you are

Coming for me

I can see it in

My minds dreams

I know you

Are coming for me

Whispering screams

.

Lead me astray

Follow a path

Hell bent

On decay

Dead butterflies

Lead the way

.

Together they’ve

Come to face me

Upfront

I tap my head

To disperse them

Even though I am

The hunt

I forget to tell you

I’m stronger than

You think

I forget to tell you

I will not live like

This again

.

.

“You are not worthy

Of love

Not worthy of light

Come sit in the

Darkness

We are your delight

You cannot fight us

The darkness will

Always fight

We will come and find

You right when you

Feel the light

You’ll be halfway up

A wall & we will

crash it down

You’ll fall

We are the truth

The darkness

Coming after you”

.

I am not enough

I do not deserve love

That is what they tell me

.

These Whispers used to

Soothe me now

They’ve turned

Against me

Coming to test me

I cannot fear

What is inside

Of me

.

.

.

I’d rather eat them

When they taunt me

Transmute & even flow

.

A monarch butterfly

I must grow

.

You don’t know

Me anymore darkness

I’ve had to let you go

.

.

6:58 AM

6: 31 PM

7:02 PM

Channeling with Strangers

Spoke with a psychic

Lastnight

She reached out to me

Told me spirit wouldn’t

Let her be

Told me you

Are all around me

If I could see this energy

What would the colours be?

.

.

.

Spoke with a psychic

Lastnight

She told me everything

Wasn’t alright

Hot and cold

This game gets old

Part of the story

I continue to be told

.

.

.

Meaningless

&

Unfulfilled

Comes from

Her lips

Low vibes

No light

Tell me who

It is you miss?

.

.

I understand

Life is busy

Can’t find a level stance

Unbalanced

Ungrounded

Need solitude

Need your rest

.

.

.

I spoke to a psychic

Lastnight

She promised

Everything would be

Alright

Asked if I knew

My crown was tilted

Not firing right

I told her I can’t

Feel my heartbeat

I miss it

I can’t feel

My guard is up

I’m inside myself again

Can’t comprehend

What my world is doing

I want to feel my heart beat

Against my chest again

I never want that feeling

To go away

I need to feel myself again

I’m so far away from her

I’m trying to come back

I’m trying to connect

Keep getting lost

With people who

Are just foes

I see right through this

Karmic mess

Here I am

Documenting

What I won’t confess

Here I go

Back to the wrong show

There are no musicians here

No art to compare

.

.

Here I am

Stardust in a suit

Staring at my hands

She said I have a

Long life to live

.

.

All I can do is exhale

All I can do is call out

Life guide

Life line

Help me purify

This divide

Help me find balance

Inside of me

Head in the clouds

Hands searching for

The right mudra

Heart space come back to me

Heart beat come face me

.

.

.

11:35 AM

10/16/2020

Look Up

Sometimes I sit

Up on a mountain

Top with you

High above the clouds

I laugh and stare at

The human in you

Make fun of the earthly

Things we do

Play pretend this

Isn’t happening again

Down there I’m far away

From myself right now

These weeks are kicking

My souls ass

Silencing the voice in

The back of my head

To finish out the karmic

Progression I’ve been

Laying with…

Forgetting what I promised

Myself

.

.

I find myself on my mat again

Staring at the ceiling

Pretending I’m in

the stars again

I love this life

But sometimes I’m

too much

I struggle to stay

In line just over

Here doing my time

Trying to be kind

This is a struggle to survive

Survive mundane

Survive consistency

Can’t run even if

The music called me

.

.

I sit up in the clouds

And stare out with you

Look at this mess

We are going through

It’s not really that bad

Not enough time

For the things I crave

But just enough time

To end business day

Everytime I leave

I want to stay away and play

I miss my things

Don’t have the time

Today to appreciate

Just stare like a museum

I swear I’ll visit again

.

.

Today I’m on a mountain

Top with you

Today I’m nurturing

My soul

And you

She’s on the mountain

resting in your lap

Wind breezes by

Can’t stay here forever

But it’s nice to see your face

Can’t stay here forever

Let me enjoy this place

.

.

Earth is crazy right now

This is my safe place

.

.

Earth is busy right now

I came here to calm down

Save my space

.

I’m going with the flow

Let go

Let go

Let go

.

.

.

Kiss my forehead

I have to go

.

.

10:31AM

10:26 AM

9/29/20

Be-You-Tiful You-Niverse

Well would you

Look at that

It was in us all along

This is my life

Our plane

My soul

Lessons

games

No “better than “here”

Where are we anyway?

Floating in space

Not even a base

Just rotating

Slowly fading

.

.

Ever think of why words

Are s-p-e-l-l-e-d 🧙🏻‍♀️

Manifested one letter at a time

Pondering where thoughts

Come from when it has been

The borrowed light within

All along

.

.

Be – you -tiful

He wrote

You-niverse she saw

What funny synchronicites

That continuously connect us all

.

.

I feel like I broke my view

Can’t stay in one

World anymore

So many beautiful

Things flying around us

No one sees this

But scattered souls

Destined to have

Found us

.

I hold this all so close

To my chest

The only thing your holding

To your chest is a pile of cards

Dumb founded when you’ve

Gone too far

.

Oh I did it again

.

.

Better and better

The music man plays

Clearer and clearer

The old soul sings

We tuck different things

Into our chest

I don’t have armor

It’s unconditional love

Red rover

Red rover

Won’t you come on over

Chauffeur

Me through this

Plane we are blessed

To breath

.

.

Can’t believe it was

In us this whole time

Look at my hands

Still have youth

I suppose

Not dead

I refuse

I’ve found this

overwhelming flow

Ever flowing glow

Don’t need this

Earthly ambien again

.

Remember

Remember

It’s the only way

This will end

Remember

Remember

Learn this lesson

Again

Over and over

Let’s play pretend

We don’t know the

Definition of

Karma again

Continue away from

The meaningless

Progression

Can I

Wake up?

Or shall I lay here again ?

Come back “ play the game“

Forget again

Come back to

Karma & Epiphany

Again

Tattoo it on your wrists

So you don’t slice them again

Come back to the good & evil again

Tattoo them so he doesn’t mark your skin

Fight for yourself

Your worth the soul within

Fight for yourself

“ Your enough “

In the end.

.

.

.

.

.

10:38 PM

1:37 AM

9-4-20

Run Forrest Run

You’ve been waiting for this

You’ll sit and pluck all the

Pedals from a flower

Thinking the answer

Is in the 3 parts that

Lay within

Sitting here confused

Staring at the stigma

Atop of the pistil

As you hold the style

In your hand

Every petal you let

Fall to the floor

Was the magical answer

You needed to know

A burden so to speak

Is the mindset you

Choose to keep

I’m closer to your

Soul than I’ll ever

Be your flesh

Maybe that’s why

I want to run

From you

Instead of

Being thrown

to the wolves

Again and again

When skepticism seeps in

It’s my favorite trait of you

Taking the beauty &

Finding a way to

Redefine its truth

Transmute

Waiting and waiting

To disprove something

So true

Can’t compute

The cutest when

Your dumb- founded

Have you decided to sit

With yourself yet?

No way

Not the time yet

Still living

Freeing yourself

From the chains that

Have shackled you

For years

I’m watching Forrest Gump

Run down the way

Run Gordon run

Metal bursting in every way

The wind helps you

Move faster and faster

the Lord is with you

Ride

he will give you shelter

I’m happy to see a light burn

In you slowly and slowly

It sparks as your mind

Continues to open up

Eyes wide

Head screams

Holy moly

I hope you take those petals

And find a better use for them

I hope you find a way to blend

The universe and your skepticism

For now you should run

Find yourself

Love yourself

Purify the disposition

You consume yourself with

You can go from one side

To the other

Close your heart

For it to open back up

Without permission

Take that energy

Internalize

Redefine

Compute

These things take time

You can’t heal all at once

There are levels my friend

It’s okay to be scared

Not a manly thing to admit

But the discomfort & curiosity

Will propel you forward

Your a dick when your

Too settled in

Don’t stop

Unless it’s to sit with yourself

I recommend finding a connection

With your body ; yourself

I recommend finding a way

To love this angelic skin you’ve

Been gifted In

You are the keeper of many

Glorious realms

You could give shelter

To so many lost within

I could never leave a soul behind

But we have free will

I couldnt damn myself

To play show and tell

If you must lose yourself

In this world then don’t

Call and fake to me

That everything you wanted

To be is lost in the age

You soaked up and

Mistreated miserably

I’ll never give up on your soul

But I can stay away from you

I’m here to one day watch you

Sing a song you finally wrote

Connected with your soul

The blue comes through

You know you can set

Boundaries with me

Tell me when it

Fucks with you

Endlessly

I’m here one day to stop waving

To you from afar

Ask yourself where you

are watering

The grass

Ask yourself if you

live in the present

What intentions do

You set for yourself

Run Forrest run

You’ve got this

So much love surrounding you

One day you find a way

To transmute

Self discovery is not a happy

Journey

You see all of you

All the ones you love

You’ve hurt

You find out how weak

You actually are

Hiding all that truth

Between the world

And a blue guitar

One day just look at the

Flower and let it sit

There in all it’s majestic glory

God put it there to admire

Inspire

Stop worrying about me

I am not apart of your misery

Let go of the control

You think you have

Anxiety fills your veins

While you insist on pushing

Parts of yourself away

She said you have to create

Maybe a baby

Maybe music

He doesn’t realize it’s his choice

But in and out of your life

He will go

Never following through

On intentions he set as a goal

The world might take him

It’s his free will so

Wish him well

& continue to let go

Work on yourself baby

Eb and flow

I’m closer to your Soul

Than I am to your flesh

I’d give anything for you

To see what I see in my

Mind’s eye

I’d give anything for you

To understand your the first

Mind I was gifted to comply

Don’t worry

It is unsettling to me

You think I play it so cool

But you must understand

I am one of the awakened lonely

I’ll hold myself forever

Because no one loves me

More than me

I struggle just as much as you

Wanting to be my friend

I had a weird break down

The other day cause I thought

I should block you

Let go

Send you on your way

You don’t need me

I don’t need you

I saged myself

Decided to send you love

Instead

Don’t worry about me

I have a sight no one

Else can see

Everyone’s internal misery

I see what others cannot

Words you wrote a decade ago

Words you wrote and left

I was left with the eb and flow

I chose to grow

Facing karma I owe

I gave myself to the Lord

He took the chains off of me

Let me breath

Let me be me

He is in me

I am happy

But there is a

maintenance fee

I must admit I will

Always be lonely

I will carry this

Light in me

Until I no longer breath

What a sad day that will be

Until then I shift this world

The way it was destined to be

I am love

Unconditional

I am light

Unconditional

No wonder these

Moths flock to me

Run forest run

You can breath

10:44 AM

11:01 AM

11:10 AM

8/16/20

Can you speak Tongues?

I’d rather speak in

Pictures

Riddles

&

Rhymes

.

.

Metaphors

You don’t care to speak

Nor see

That is me

Wrapped up in

A mystical being

.

.

So divine

.

.

It can get lonely here

Luckily my mind

Is here

I’m not lost this time

Luckily my chakras

Are trying to clear

I am the only one

That can help me

See clear

This time

.

.

.

I’d rather speak in

Synchronicities & signs

Then feel you

Roll your eyes

Misunderstandings

Claim you everytime

Skepticism takes the magic

From your mind

Kills the kundalini

Everytime

.

.

.

I am a spirit

Always ready to roam

Can’t keep me contained

I’m out on my own

You are a spirit

Lost on the phone

Can’t keep you mundane

You’re getting so cold

.

.

Riddles

&

Rhymes

Their all sent to me

Riddles

&

Rhymes

Languages translated

To me

.

.

.

Not mine ; not yours

Glossolalia

Xenoglossy

I’ll show them to you

I’ll show them to you

I’ll show them to you

.

.

Use my advice this time

Set yourself free

It doesn’t mean you’ll

Be with me

But if you set yourself free

I will be able to breath

.

.

I sound so dramatic

I don’t need you

I swear

I sound so dramatic

Run your fingers

Through my hair

.

.

I’d rather speak to God

Than wait around for you

I’d rather speak to God

He is making me in tune

.

.

Can you speaks tongues ?

I’d really like to see

If you speak tongues

Would it set your soul free?

.

.

Are you strong enough

On your own

Looking down at your phone

Thinking when you call me soon

Faking , hide your tone

.

.

There is a bind here

Isn’t it clear?

A hermit draws near

While an emperor

Shows fear

Oh dear

Oh dear

Oh dear

Just a year

Just a year

Just a year

8:21 PM

8:39 PM

8/9/20

I was thinking 🌗

Hey

I was thinking

Of leaving you

Can’t do it anymore

I had so much fun

With you lastnight

But I saw who you were

Can’t look past these

Blocks you choose

.

.

.

Hey

I was thinking

Of leaving you

Makes me sad

Thought we were close

.

.

.

I had so much

fun with you

But I can’t stand

What you choose

.

.

.

My friend

My friend

I knew it would end

My friend

My friend

Don’t need you

Won’t bend

My friend

My friend

Thank you for

This time

We’ve had

It’s only been

Two years

And I can’t count

All the ways

I’ve processed

Your tears

.

.

It’s so hard

To be friends

With me

I’ll give and I’ll give

Until I confess

That you just take

It’s not your intention

But no boundaries

shine a ray

.

.

My energy is low

When I am in

Your presence

My friend

I was there for you

I watched you

Process 20 years

Of grief through me

I let you do it

So effortlessly

I’ll ground your pain

It’s what I usually do

I see you now

You don’t need me

No clue

My friend

My friend

I am growing away

My friend

My friend

Won’t come back

One day

I’ve done this

Before

Scattered friends

Near and far

I am so empty when

You take from me

All of you

Never replace my energy

Dear lord

Dear lord

Will I ever find a friend

Who sends back

Their energy from within

.

.

.

I know I’ve felt it before

I was 19 and so very low

.

.

Hey

I was thinking

About leaving you

Didn’t like the conversation

You made me sit through

.

.

Hey

I think I’m gonna leave you

Let time run it’s course

Let God do his chores

Removing the people

Who don’t help me grow

.

.

So many • chords •

Stuck to me

Need to cut them

Before I can’t breath

Let you feel

Your disease

.

.

I wish I felt sorry

For feeling this way

But Hey I love you

In every single way

.

.

I let go

Acknowledge the truth

Send my pain to the

Ground below

Lift my head up

It’s the end of the show

Hey

I’m leaving you today.

1:33 PM

2:12 PM

8/9/20

Vulnerable

Be vulnerable with me

I won’t hate who you are

.

.

.

Breath with me

Give me who you are

I won’t make you feel bad

For the things you want

I won’t make you think

You are less

For what you

won’t flaunt

.

.

.

Tell me the truth

In writing

In words that have

Been stuck for years

.

.

Flow with me

In this endless dance

You always hold back

The tears

.

.

I can heal you

Like I’ve healed myself

I can show you

What you won’t confess

A longing

A nurture

A sweet loves

Caress

.

.

Come on

Confess

Confess

.

.

.

Bring your mind to me

Lay it inside of me

I’ll keep it forever

Like I already have

I’ll keep you forever

You know that I have

.

.

I am nothing to fear

No pedestal here

Take me down from there

I’m standing right here

.

.

It’s okay

I confess

I could never

love you less

It’s okay

I confess

You have never

Been a mess

.

.

Let’s confess

Let’s confess

I’ll be vulnerable too

Come show me a visual

Of the hell you’ve been through

.

.

Kiss my forehead

My hand

And my ass

Come play with me

I’ll take off my mask

.

.

only for you

The voice is so true

Only for you

I won’t shuffle

You through

.

.

.

Start writing

Keep fighting

No failure

You are going

Through

.

.

This fence hurts

Pull up my skirts

And show me

Who you are

.

.

Be vulnerable with me

Tell me the truth

Please let me see

Everything you’ve

Been hiding from me

.

.

.

12:26 AM

7/27/20

Iambian Twist

My eyes are closed

I can feel my breath

.

.

It’s moving down

Slowly

I’m so close to this

I confess

No one is around

To tell me I’m less

No one is around

So let me confess

.

.

Put my head down

I reach for my crown

I can feel my breath

Release what I have left

To be found

.

.

Your inside of me

Inside of my head

I can’t let you go

Or I’d surely be dead

I thought it was you

Who was pulling me

Through

Eyes closed

I catch my breath

Your the only one

I have left

.

.

Eyes closed

Help me lose

This regret

I’ll never let

Myself go again

Cheyenne

I love you

This is our breath

Cheyenne

I want to

Combine

With this chest

.

.

Let me inside

I’ll stay awake

This time

Let me inside

I won’t let you die

.

.

Let me inside

I won’t ever lie

Let me inside

Your mine

Your mine

.

.

.

.

.

My eyes are closed

I’m breathing

I’m too much

Too much

Too much

For one

.

.

So vulnerable here

Alone

In this mirror

So vulnerable here

God

let me see clear

.

.

I’m reminded

I’m leaving

Elevated from

Myself

.

I’m flying

Come with me

Feel your heart beat

It’s me

come through

.

.

Come with me

I’m flying

I promise

I won’t lose you

.

.

Come with me

Your shying

From who you

Are too

.

.

Eyes closed

I hold my breath

Kundalini come up

My spine

Fill me with your caress

I confess

I confess

I confess

.

.

.

7:02 PM = 9

+

07/20/20 = 11

9+1+1=11

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