Tag: conversations with myself

Theta – QHHT

I’ve got something

Coming to me

Rather I am coming

To face me

I’m swimming in

My brainwaves

I feel like a deftones song

.

.

The beat of cherry waves

Is how I’m swimming

In my brain ; flowing

Effortlessly to my true state

.

.

Which one gives me

Access to the

answers I hear

I’ve known all along

.

.

Delta

Theta

Alpha

Beta

Is gamma the way ?

I could sit here allday

Swaying in a hemi sync daze

Mudra

Mudra

Send it out in every way

.

.

I’m swimming these

Pathways back to me

Looking for the one

To give me access to me

.

.

Memories I float by

Emotions I observe

From times long

Gone bye

Sensations

Sold out prayers

Heart felt

Deep meditations

My lonely tears

They are all here

I’m swimming in my mind

This is mine

All mine

.

.

Drifting slowly

In a trance like state

Drifting flowing

This is apart of my fate

.

.

I can’t stop searching for you

I’m going deeper

Goodbye Beta

Can’t stop seeing you

You are a big part

Of the truth

.

.

Breath quietly

With pranayama

& imaginations

Of green & blue

Om

That throat chakra

Is coming for you

.

.

6:22 PM

March 27th 2021

0

Hemi – Sync

I talk to you

A lot in

my head

Yet I know

I shouldn’t

Pick up my phone

.

If I get brave enough to

Look at your name

I shut myself down

I can’t have a moment

Like that again

You don’t need

me to crack

Your skull open

And show you

The truth of

What you’ve

been hiding in

.

.

Start your day

With a clean slate

“Helps make every day feel brand new”

.

.

Flip a token

To see what side

Of yourself

You’ll choose today

Don’t look in the mirror

It’s easier that way

.

.

I talk to you a lot

In my head

Something I

Don’t recommend

Admitting right now

.

.

It comes natural

Until you want to

Talk about something

I don’t

It comes natural

Till you pull the wrong

String ; I won’t

I can’t sing

Can’t write

My throat is raw

From yelling at myself

I don’t want to visit

This side of my head

.

.

If I asked you to

Close your eyes

And touch the

Part of your brain

That lights up

When I come to mind

I bet it would

Scare you everytime

Not just one location

I come to find

.

.

I hope you know

I don’t feel like

Picking up my phone

My chest feels constricted

Can’t breath the way I like to

Right now thinking of you

Just a subtle heartbeat

Can’t get through the thick fog

Around you ; the pollution

Is too loud

.

.

I see vices

False niceness

Comfort zone

Sacrifices

Happy ….

Happy life

.

.

Being human is weird

I’m sure being a man is worse

All this pressure on your shoulders

To be a provider , believe that a better

Version of yourself is built by

Sacrificing who you are to someone else

.

Dark night of the soul

Is the only way through

I promise your authentic self

Wont let you ignore this pull

If this was the end then your

Pearl Jam song would be playing loud

I don’t hear the bells ringing or

The End coming for you

But I can assure you it

Wont be me snapping my fingers

Bringing you back on cue

But I see you

Don’t worry friend

I couldn’t stop if I tried

.

You come to mine

Too many times

.

.

Comedically I picture

Your name entering

The left side of my brain

Deciphering where it should

store this lovely being

The security is weak on that side

The bouncer said your name is on the list

Every-time

I’m dancing on the right side

Spinning in circles , dancing

Pantomime

.

.

.

Drifting through Oklahoma

2/8/21

9:29 am

9:44 am

10:01 am

0

“Read My Mind”

Woke up

&

I remember

I saw you

I lay there

& wonder

What you were

Telling me to do

.

.

Come close

Too close

Smiles show

Embrace me

Far past regret

I saw that

demented smile

Again

.

.

Blinking in a dream

another time approaches

Shows me old houses

Old rooms

Hair long

Like old times

Forgot my life

When I came to

Who is this man

My dream tells me

To look into

I watch myself

Follow this path

I play rewind

There you are

In dreamscape land

.

.

Blink

Present time

Present house

This is mine

I see you laying

On the floor

Crawl between

Now heavens a blur

My head is spinning

The feeling still there

Close my eyes

You continue to stare

Reality is coming quick

Tell me what you

Want me to know

I know I’m

laying too

Close to you

Tell me before I go

.

.

You lean in

As close as I want you to

Wrapped around me

Eyes meet

I’m so alive

Look what you

Made me do

.

.

Your lips move

“Read my mind”

.

Dream chy

Closes her eyes

In your arms

alarm sounds

I disappear everytime.

.

.

.

3:19 PM

3:37 PM

1/13/2021

0

Through the breath ——- comes the energy

Im looking for you

Plugging my ears

To hear where you are

.

.

Closing my eyes

To see you so far

Inhale

Listen close

Exhale

I feel like a ghost

I need to sit down

Find the energy again

.

.

.

Have you left

The enemy yet?

Haven’t craved yourself

Enough yet?

.

I need a place for my head

.

.

Don’t want you to

Take the best of me

Loneliness has

This tongue again

Slithering

Slithering

Constriction begins

I guess that’s what

Happens when

Your conflicted again

.

.

Finding myself

Gets harder

Everytime

I’m getting better

At hiding

Can’t be up in

The clouds the whole time

I’ve got a life to live

Can’t always confide

.

.

I’m searching for you

Cheyenne’s missing

Peek-A-Boo

Hidden away from

The blue

Words won’t

Come out

Too easy to

Misconstrue

.

.

Just better to

Put my head

Down , push

On through

Shit

What did I do?

.

.

.

Through the breath

Comes the energy

Again

.

.

Through the breath

Comes the energy

My friend.

12/8/20

8:41PM

0

A Yearn Untamed

I struggle to

Stay connected

To a part of

Myself

The part of myself

I love the most

I’m a ghost

Your a ghost

.

.

Boo

.

I yearn to confide

Inside myself

Be alone &

Fix this

Ocean of

Loneliness

I swim in

I’m terrified of

Water but here I

Am flowing with

The rip tide

Scared I

Might die

It’s getting deeper

Flowing faster

If I fight the current

I’ll drown

I’ve already done

This before

I have to crash

With the waves

Here I go

If this were

Easy it would

Be no fun

No lesson to

Learn

Go back to

The comfort zone

Lay there &

Remember

This isn’t where

You want to be

A coward you

Chose the lion

Suit again

I am OZ

I told you

It’s in you

All along

.

.

Lonely

Lonely

I continuously

Defend

Go back

Go back

.

.

A yearn untamed

Makes me

Disassociate

I’m in love

With you

I’m in love

With this

Vision

I’m closing

My eyes &

Living in

I told you

To go

You stay

As above

So Below

.

.

11:14 AM

11/04/2020

0

Going Home

I freed myself today

Chose myself

Like I needed to

Didn’t give notice

To the two faced fool

spreading bitterness

Wonder where everyone goes

.

.

.

I freed myself today

I believe the universe

Shines down a golden ray

I took care of myself

I’ll be taken care of everyday

.

.

Remember this feeling everyday

Listening to my body

I tried but it could never feel right

Too much bitterness

No one can stand the presence

Too much disrespect

Never want to see you again

.

.

It’s empowering to help yourself

Even if it’s cold out I won’t stay

Where I know I can’t grow

Even if it’s cold out

I’ll face this world alone

Me myself & I

The universe by my side

Divine continue to shine

.

.

I freed myself today

I’m going home to

My family

The corn fields

Country roads

Bonfires &

Everyone is home

Surround myself

With love

Remember this is

Where I’m from

Reset

Gratitude

Progress

I choose myself

Everyday

10:04 PM

10/26/2020

0

Channeling with Strangers

Spoke with a psychic

Lastnight

She reached out to me

Told me spirit wouldn’t

Let her be

Told me you

Are all around me

If I could see this energy

What would the colours be?

.

.

.

Spoke with a psychic

Lastnight

She told me everything

Wasn’t alright

Hot and cold

This game gets old

Part of the story

I continue to be told

.

.

.

Meaningless

&

Unfulfilled

Comes from

Her lips

Low vibes

No light

Tell me who

It is you miss?

.

.

I understand

Life is busy

Can’t find a level stance

Unbalanced

Ungrounded

Need solitude

Need your rest

.

.

.

I spoke to a psychic

Lastnight

She promised

Everything would be

Alright

Asked if I knew

My crown was tilted

Not firing right

I told her I can’t

Feel my heartbeat

I miss it

I can’t feel

My guard is up

I’m inside myself again

Can’t comprehend

What my world is doing

I want to feel my heart beat

Against my chest again

I never want that feeling

To go away

I need to feel myself again

I’m so far away from her

I’m trying to come back

I’m trying to connect

Keep getting lost

With people who

Are just foes

I see right through this

Karmic mess

Here I am

Documenting

What I won’t confess

Here I go

Back to the wrong show

There are no musicians here

No art to compare

.

.

Here I am

Stardust in a suit

Staring at my hands

She said I have a

Long life to live

.

.

All I can do is exhale

All I can do is call out

Life guide

Life line

Help me purify

This divide

Help me find balance

Inside of me

Head in the clouds

Hands searching for

The right mudra

Heart space come back to me

Heart beat come face me

.

.

.

11:35 AM

10/16/2020

0

Nothing & Everything

Of all the versions

Of you I know

Why are you so scared

To show me this one?

.

.

Of all the You’s

I’ve met

Why is it so hard

To confess this one?

.

.

I’m the one that

Remembers everything

Yet I’m the one

Who is kindest

To your evolution

.

.

Didn’t even kick

You when you

Needed it

.

.

Who is this man

Who I talk to?

Do you know

Who is you?

Is this what is

Stopping you

From joining

Ebb and flow ?

.

.

You don’t know

Yourself?

Lonely

You confess

.

.

Dive deeper

My favorite mess

.

.

I see you looking

Inside yourself

.

.

Keep going

Keep growing

When your mind

Settles down

Come show me

.

.

Flow with me

Show me songs

I’m dying to see

Take me to

Places that are

Meant to be

.

.

One day we will

Laugh at this age

We thought was a tease

.

.

Laugh at the way

We treated the breeze.

.

.

Time goes by

.

.

I remember everything

.

I’m still here rooting

For you

I remember every song

Don’t make me wait

Too long

.

.

I remember everything

I’m gonna sing you a song

Please start remembering

Everything

I won’t be around too long

1:01 AM

0

Look Up

Sometimes I sit

Up on a mountain

Top with you

High above the clouds

I laugh and stare at

The human in you

Make fun of the earthly

Things we do

Play pretend this

Isn’t happening again

Down there I’m far away

From myself right now

These weeks are kicking

My souls ass

Silencing the voice in

The back of my head

To finish out the karmic

Progression I’ve been

Laying with…

Forgetting what I promised

Myself

.

.

I find myself on my mat again

Staring at the ceiling

Pretending I’m in

the stars again

I love this life

But sometimes I’m

too much

I struggle to stay

In line just over

Here doing my time

Trying to be kind

This is a struggle to survive

Survive mundane

Survive consistency

Can’t run even if

The music called me

.

.

I sit up in the clouds

And stare out with you

Look at this mess

We are going through

It’s not really that bad

Not enough time

For the things I crave

But just enough time

To end business day

Everytime I leave

I want to stay away and play

I miss my things

Don’t have the time

Today to appreciate

Just stare like a museum

I swear I’ll visit again

.

.

Today I’m on a mountain

Top with you

Today I’m nurturing

My soul

And you

She’s on the mountain

resting in your lap

Wind breezes by

Can’t stay here forever

But it’s nice to see your face

Can’t stay here forever

Let me enjoy this place

.

.

Earth is crazy right now

This is my safe place

.

.

Earth is busy right now

I came here to calm down

Save my space

.

I’m going with the flow

Let go

Let go

Let go

.

.

.

Kiss my forehead

I have to go

.

.

10:31AM

10:26 AM

9/29/20

0

Wishing Well

What a perfect pit

Of forgetfulness

I was gifted

To lay my demons with

.

.

I can throw anything

I want down this

Wishing well

It echos all my

Wishes and all

Of my woes

.

.

Throwing a quarter

I hear it drop all

the way down

Throwing a memory

How far till it drowns

.

.

I guess in the end

You are my safe place

Coming and going

I look through this space

Closing my eyes

Your the sound

In the bass

.

.

I could stare down

This well forever

Hello

.

.

Hello

.

.

Echo

Echo

.

.

.

.

What a perfect pit

Of forgetfulness

I’ve left my demons with

He has the key

only I remember

Where I went

And laid me

.

.

I know in your chest

Where this company

Stays

I know in your brain

Where my secret

It lays

.

.

Miles apart

Wouldn’t matter

Where you are

.

.

It was Proven

to me

Physical body

Isn’t all there

Is to be

I remember

Sharing frequencies

With me

I remember confiding

Daringly

I sit on my well

Spouting my tell

Stare down my well

Come echo

Come spell

I know what is

Down there

Do you care to tell?

I know what is

down there

I visit so well

.

.

Hey wishing well

You’ve always been enough

Hey wishing well

Thank you so much

What would I do

If I didn’t have you

Who would I be

If it wasn’t you and me

.

.

Here comes

another quarter

I toss it down below

Keep my secrets

I’ll come back

I’m the only one

Who can open

that door

9:51 PM

9/5/20

0

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