Hemi – Sync

I talk to you

A lot in

my head

Yet I know

I shouldn’t

Pick up my phone

.

If I get brave enough to

Look at your name

I shut myself down

I can’t have a moment

Like that again

You don’t need

me to crack

Your skull open

And show you

The truth of

What you’ve

been hiding in

.

.

Start your day

With a clean slate

“Helps make every day feel brand new”

.

.

Flip a token

To see what side

Of yourself

You’ll choose today

Don’t look in the mirror

It’s easier that way

.

.

I talk to you a lot

In my head

Something I

Don’t recommend

Admitting right now

.

.

It comes natural

Until you want to

Talk about something

I don’t

It comes natural

Till you pull the wrong

String ; I won’t

I can’t sing

Can’t write

My throat is raw

From yelling at myself

I don’t want to visit

This side of my head

.

.

If I asked you to

Close your eyes

And touch the

Part of your brain

That lights up

When I come to mind

I bet it would

Scare you everytime

Not just one location

I come to find

.

.

I hope you know

I don’t feel like

Picking up my phone

My chest feels constricted

Can’t breath the way I like to

Right now thinking of you

Just a subtle heartbeat

Can’t get through the thick fog

Around you ; the pollution

Is too loud

.

.

I see vices

False niceness

Comfort zone

Sacrifices

Happy ….

Happy life

.

.

Being human is weird

I’m sure being a man is worse

All this pressure on your shoulders

To be a provider , believe that a better

Version of yourself is built by

Sacrificing who you are to someone else

.

Dark night of the soul

Is the only way through

I promise your authentic self

Wont let you ignore this pull

If this was the end then your

Pearl Jam song would be playing loud

I don’t hear the bells ringing or

The End coming for you

But I can assure you it

Wont be me snapping my fingers

Bringing you back on cue

But I see you

Don’t worry friend

I couldn’t stop if I tried

.

You come to mine

Too many times

.

.

Comedically I picture

Your name entering

The left side of my brain

Deciphering where it should

store this lovely being

The security is weak on that side

The bouncer said your name is on the list

Every-time

I’m dancing on the right side

Spinning in circles , dancing

Pantomime

.

.

.

Drifting through Oklahoma

2/8/21

9:29 am

9:44 am

10:01 am

Dark Whispers —— I Won’t Follow

The whispers

Are coming again

Coming from a distance

I know they want to

Seep in

I’m stuck on a problem

My wheels spinning

On just one thing

That could take

My soul within

.

.

They are coming

They approach

From the ground

Powerful they seem

With no camouflage

I gleam

Here I sit

I start to sing

.

.

I know you are

Coming for me

I can see it in

My minds dreams

I know you

Are coming for me

Whispering screams

.

Lead me astray

Follow a path

Hell bent

On decay

Dead butterflies

Lead the way

.

Together they’ve

Come to face me

Upfront

I tap my head

To disperse them

Even though I am

The hunt

I forget to tell you

I’m stronger than

You think

I forget to tell you

I will not live like

This again

.

.

“You are not worthy

Of love

Not worthy of light

Come sit in the

Darkness

We are your delight

You cannot fight us

The darkness will

Always fight

We will come and find

You right when you

Feel the light

You’ll be halfway up

A wall & we will

crash it down

You’ll fall

We are the truth

The darkness

Coming after you”

.

I am not enough

I do not deserve love

That is what they tell me

.

These Whispers used to

Soothe me now

They’ve turned

Against me

Coming to test me

I cannot fear

What is inside

Of me

.

.

.

I’d rather eat them

When they taunt me

Transmute & even flow

.

A monarch butterfly

I must grow

.

You don’t know

Me anymore darkness

I’ve had to let you go

.

.

6:58 AM

6: 31 PM

7:02 PM

Channeling with Strangers

Spoke with a psychic

Lastnight

She reached out to me

Told me spirit wouldn’t

Let her be

Told me you

Are all around me

If I could see this energy

What would the colours be?

.

.

.

Spoke with a psychic

Lastnight

She told me everything

Wasn’t alright

Hot and cold

This game gets old

Part of the story

I continue to be told

.

.

.

Meaningless

&

Unfulfilled

Comes from

Her lips

Low vibes

No light

Tell me who

It is you miss?

.

.

I understand

Life is busy

Can’t find a level stance

Unbalanced

Ungrounded

Need solitude

Need your rest

.

.

.

I spoke to a psychic

Lastnight

She promised

Everything would be

Alright

Asked if I knew

My crown was tilted

Not firing right

I told her I can’t

Feel my heartbeat

I miss it

I can’t feel

My guard is up

I’m inside myself again

Can’t comprehend

What my world is doing

I want to feel my heart beat

Against my chest again

I never want that feeling

To go away

I need to feel myself again

I’m so far away from her

I’m trying to come back

I’m trying to connect

Keep getting lost

With people who

Are just foes

I see right through this

Karmic mess

Here I am

Documenting

What I won’t confess

Here I go

Back to the wrong show

There are no musicians here

No art to compare

.

.

Here I am

Stardust in a suit

Staring at my hands

She said I have a

Long life to live

.

.

All I can do is exhale

All I can do is call out

Life guide

Life line

Help me purify

This divide

Help me find balance

Inside of me

Head in the clouds

Hands searching for

The right mudra

Heart space come back to me

Heart beat come face me

.

.

.

11:35 AM

10/16/2020

Where you focus———————There the energy goes

So where are you

In that head of yours

I see myself slouching down

Going deaf

Don’t want to hear your sound

Anymore

I’m going down

Just at the sight of you

I’m going down

Don’t want to be around you

My energy has been focused

On all the wrong things

Taking away from me

I get angry

Annoyed

Want to tell you to go

Just go

Where you focus

There the energy goes—

I need to go

I am looking out

There is my energy flow

Looking up

There is my frequency show

Ungrounded

Need to center

Myself

Go

Clean my glasses

Blink my eyes

A few hundred times

.

.

Tap between my brow

Where you focus

There the energy goes —-

.

.

.

3:25 PM

Flying over

the Midwest

Nothing & Everything

Of all the versions

Of you I know

Why are you so scared

To show me this one?

.

.

Of all the You’s

I’ve met

Why is it so hard

To confess this one?

.

.

I’m the one that

Remembers everything

Yet I’m the one

Who is kindest

To your evolution

.

.

Didn’t even kick

You when you

Needed it

.

.

Who is this man

Who I talk to?

Do you know

Who is you?

Is this what is

Stopping you

From joining

Ebb and flow ?

.

.

You don’t know

Yourself?

Lonely

You confess

.

.

Dive deeper

My favorite mess

.

.

I see you looking

Inside yourself

.

.

Keep going

Keep growing

When your mind

Settles down

Come show me

.

.

Flow with me

Show me songs

I’m dying to see

Take me to

Places that are

Meant to be

.

.

One day we will

Laugh at this age

We thought was a tease

.

.

Laugh at the way

We treated the breeze.

.

.

Time goes by

.

.

I remember everything

.

I’m still here rooting

For you

I remember every song

Don’t make me wait

Too long

.

.

I remember everything

I’m gonna sing you a song

Please start remembering

Everything

I won’t be around too long

1:01 AM

Be-You-Tiful You-Niverse

Well would you

Look at that

It was in us all along

This is my life

Our plane

My soul

Lessons

games

No “better than “here”

Where are we anyway?

Floating in space

Not even a base

Just rotating

Slowly fading

.

.

Ever think of why words

Are s-p-e-l-l-e-d 🧙🏻‍♀️

Manifested one letter at a time

Pondering where thoughts

Come from when it has been

The borrowed light within

All along

.

.

Be – you -tiful

He wrote

You-niverse she saw

What funny synchronicites

That continuously connect us all

.

.

I feel like I broke my view

Can’t stay in one

World anymore

So many beautiful

Things flying around us

No one sees this

But scattered souls

Destined to have

Found us

.

I hold this all so close

To my chest

The only thing your holding

To your chest is a pile of cards

Dumb founded when you’ve

Gone too far

.

Oh I did it again

.

.

Better and better

The music man plays

Clearer and clearer

The old soul sings

We tuck different things

Into our chest

I don’t have armor

It’s unconditional love

Red rover

Red rover

Won’t you come on over

Chauffeur

Me through this

Plane we are blessed

To breath

.

.

Can’t believe it was

In us this whole time

Look at my hands

Still have youth

I suppose

Not dead

I refuse

I’ve found this

overwhelming flow

Ever flowing glow

Don’t need this

Earthly ambien again

.

Remember

Remember

It’s the only way

This will end

Remember

Remember

Learn this lesson

Again

Over and over

Let’s play pretend

We don’t know the

Definition of

Karma again

Continue away from

The meaningless

Progression

Can I

Wake up?

Or shall I lay here again ?

Come back “ play the game“

Forget again

Come back to

Karma & Epiphany

Again

Tattoo it on your wrists

So you don’t slice them again

Come back to the good & evil again

Tattoo them so he doesn’t mark your skin

Fight for yourself

Your worth the soul within

Fight for yourself

“ Your enough “

In the end.

.

.

.

.

.

10:38 PM

1:37 AM

9-4-20

11:11

Nothing in this place

Compares to you

Nothing in this space

Scares me more than you

11:10 as I write this page

11:11 as I shutter at the ways

On and on these days come on

11:11 I want you to sing me a song

Confess to me

Show less to me

I’m spinning in circles

Watch me caress me

Ever loving

Let me breath

11:11 come take me

11:11 PM

8/27/20

Karmic Konfection

Another day

Another dollar

I guess that’s what

They used to say

I find myself in

More money than

When I hustled

All 7 days

Funny how life feels

When you let go

I never had control

Just anxiety

Anyways

I’m not giving up

I’m just realizing

The anxiety route

Isn’t the way to go

I have nothing to prove

Only want to live

I have nothing to prove

I’m backing away from

This one way give

Curiosity has got

Me taking another

Direction

Taking my time

In this karmic confection

I believe I’m getting a

Do over

My mind isn’t overcome

With fear

I found a way to

Talk to her

Be a friend

More to her than

To anyone else

I say things like

You good chy?

Getting a little tired?

I check in with me

And just for a second

Fuck everyone else

I know I’m a giver

I’ll give until my

lungs run out

It’s easy to take

advantage of me

I’m banking on the

Light I see in you

Not to burn out

Is it my fault

I believe karma

Will see us through?

I don’t want to be a

Shitty person

I want to leave you

Better than I found you

Why couldn’t I have started

Out like that?

I guess I used to ask myself

“Why is this happening to me”

It sends out a boomerang of desperate

Energy

I Observed others happiness

Like it was an impossible asana

.

.

Now I have flipped

I am the light

I say

“Why is this happening for me?”

I never give my mind

Statements

Just continuous questions

I have a constant conversation

With myself ; day in / day out

I take responsibility for my

Energy

How happy I am

I did that

When I get low

I got my back

It’s really dark out here

I used to look for a light

It’s really dark out here

But I’m the fucking

Flashlight

I take responsibility

For my energy

I take responsibility

For the ones God sends to me

“Leave them better than what you

Found them “ but don’t lose yourself

Trying to save just one

So if it’s a hello

I hope you find the time to say

Hello back

No strings attached

If it’s a marriage your

Waiting to watch the

Eb and flow

Goodluck

A man made concept

Has no use in the spirit world

Such guilt those vows

Can bring

In the end it’s just a

Man made pain

Truly meant to bind

Materialistic things

For better or worse doesn’t

Mean my soul for your happiness

I can’t live without myself

For better or worse doesn’t mean

I have to pay for everything

I can’t help but be a little pissed at

These stupid rings

What has it done to us

Sometimes this just stings

Another day

Another dollar

One day there

Won’t be anything

But The Father

So I sit well with myself

I continue to confess

I am not less

I am not my job

I am not my things

I am not your soul

You have to stand on

Your own

This marriage did not

Combine us

The way you choose to see

This marriage did not bind us

This is my soul to keep.

I wave to you

Tangled in fruit

I wave to you

God give you a boost

Sit still for a moment

& Listen well

You think your fucked now?

Just wait till your next tell

I see things others cannot

But I promise you

I will not rot.

.

.

.

11:17 PM

08/06/20

✨I 🔮 Left ✨

You know I had an ex

Who convinced me

I wasn’t good enough

That I wouldn’t survive

Without him

.

I had an ex who

Convinced me just enough

I was “good enough”

For him

But no one else

It made me cave right in

I never knew what love was

I was convinced this is

What everyone else

Goes through in

Relationships

Took me almost 7 years

To realize he was

The fucked up

Headspace

Not me

I felt irrational

Insane

Stuck in my brain

Looped in disdain

I broke free one day

He threw me against the wall

Yelled at me

Told me everything was my fault

I tried everything

Kept believing

If I gave him everything

My heart

My soul

I could fill his hole

Maybe one day he

Wouldn’t hurt me

Maybe one day he will

Be nice to me

Maybe one day he

Won’t beat me

When the vodka takes over

I was almost dead

Laying in a home

That wasn’t mine

Nothing about that place

Reflected a part of me

I waited for him

To go to work

Promised I’d be here

When he returned

Ran to the closet

To find my bags and packed up

My mess

5 bags of clothes sit packed

I unpacked them

I can’t admit to everyone

What’s been going on

I’m a failure

So fucking weak

If I leave what will

Everyone think of me

Buck up man

This is what a relationship is

“Sometimes you’ll fight “

Have disagreements

My abuser was mental

Never faced himself

One day I pictured the love I was

Giving him leave my body

I wanted to see where it went

Was it able to evolve Into what my

Intentions were

It touched his chest

And fell into a fire pit

He was eating it &

Destroying it

Telling me I’m not good enough

Telling me I’m not doing enough

I could’ve just slit my wrist

That day before I ever

Told someone the truth

He hit me with my own guitar

Thought he broke my face

No one was there to tell me

This is wrong

Again I saw the fire in his chest

Where his heart was supposed to be

Placed

He’s going to burn me

He’s convincing me to

Turn the gun on myself

How could I stand up for myself

When I didn’t love her

She was just skin

Dead within

I left

Key under the mat

Called my friend

Who makes me feel

Right within

11:11 AM

8-5-20

Kundalini Restrained Coiled

I can’t find it

in a book

So I guess

I’ll write one

.

.

I can’t seem

To write a song

So I guess

I’ll go find one

Been covering

for years

Skipping past

The tears

How has it

Come to this?

.

.

If I spelt Karma

With a “C”

Could you

translate

It to me?

Show me

One more time

That my presence

Is the key

.

.

.

.

.

.

What do you picture

In your mind?

I want to write

It out for you

Might have to draw

A web with this tangled

String you’ve toiled

Kundalini restrained coiled

.

.

.

Can you believe it’s

Been so long ?

And I still

Want to lay on

This floor with you

Write me a song

.

.

Forgot how to

shut my eyes

I got lost in yours

You fool

.

.

Can you believe

What is going on

That I’ve already

Been through it too?

.

.

If I could write a song

I don’t think I could ever

Hum along

My throat is still

Wrapped in shame

Someone’s pain

Still stops me

From singing my range

.

.

.

I picture the stage

Fantasize I’m on

That page &

Carry someone’s

Guitar home too

.

.

I guess I have to

Write it

Isn’t it supposed to be

My truth?

I’m just exhausted

Can’t fight it

I was born loving you

Who is you

When you aren’t true

To the skin you chose

To walk within

Who is you

My heart sends me to

An endless ocean blue

I have no strings

To tangle

No lion left to wrangle

Maybe that’s the danger

In me that lurks in you

I have no strings

For you

Just a fate

I choose to acknowledge

I have no strings for you

Just dark clubs and

Tangled chains

I picture you

I picture you

I picture you

Endlessly this

Flows through me

Endlessly this heart

Will see

Everything that is

Meant to be

Don’t worry

Don’t worry

You are right

Where fate

Needs you to be

Remember me

I can’t forget you

Remember me

And you’ll push

On through

.

.

.

.

.

12:53 PM = 11

8/4/20

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