Only a fool will try to forget

Remembering

Used to feel like

A curse

Some days it still is

Remembering you

Remembering me

Remembering everything

I was once

And still want to be

.

.

Only a fool would

Forget these things

Only a fool I see

I’ve been this fool

Many times in my life

If I don’t remember

Then it must go away

It didn’t happen

It did not hurt me

.

.

.

It will always come back

I will always come back

From the depths of this

Soul I rise like a Phoenix

With no choice but to rise

Only a fool is what I wish

To be — such a fool so I

Could only love conditionally

I could never feel others

Hearts break — such a fool

I could still live while disconnecting

From my heart space

.

.

Only a fool would try to forget

That’s what I want to tell myself

When I convince myself to be less

Sit here with these here

Don’t open up

Don’t come clear

Make everyday brand new

While I forget the memories

Of me and you

You’ll never know the lessons

Because the story will never be told

I can’t remember

I just tell myself I am getting old

Surrounding myself with the wrong

Soundboards — I go to sleep and

I promise as I lay my head down

I remember the truth

but as I wake up

I am a fool who has consistently chosen

To forget — when I am asked

why I can’t remember

I just reply I think there is something wrong

In my head — I try to dig in there

But I am so scared —-I’m so alone

if I find the truth

Then I’ll have to repair this life

I am comfortable in

Here I cannot feel

My heart is dead

No need to resurrect me

Pearl Jam is playing

This is how I choose to

Spend my end

Don’t you see

I have to forget

If I would’ve remembered

What I’d done to me

Or done to you

What choice would I have

But to still be the fool

It takes courage to face myself

Would you even love me

For just me

How could you when I can’t

Stand to look at me

Your unconditional love

Is making me transform me

Don’t you see

I want to be the fool

That forgets me

Teach me how to forget

Teach me how to disconnect

My heart please

Show me how to be a sheep

Show me how to come home

To someone I’ve already passed on

Show me how this hasn’t killed you

All along — only a fool would forget me

Please if I can ask for one more favor

Show me how to forget me

Delight me in the presence of your

Plans for reincarnation — tell me the

Plans you have planned without me

Since it seems your planning

Your next lives reservations

Remind me to forget these lessons

When this is over

Remind me to forget this avatar

When you call red rover

I hope I’m not a fool by then

Where I stand in the wind

Hoping the breeze brings

Your memory back to me

Where I stand begging the breeze

Reminds me of the love I’ve

always had in me

Such a beautiful fool I am

To want this so bad

Only a fool i am

To want to forget me so bad

.

.

.

9:20pm

2-11-2022

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