Poor Brain

my mind is too busy.

i can’t even comprehend the concentration and breathing i need to master this tree pose i can usually fit into with ease. I try to stretch the stress away and push my limits as a human vessel with this new task I’ve taken on. Lately my mind is somewhere else. I can’t snap out of it at work, with my friends even during my morning yoga. My dreams have been showered with things i want and don’t want to see. I guess thats the double sided sword of the subconscious. I see certain faces i’d rather stay in the dark rooms with cob webs still draped in their mindful tomb. My mind and heart act as if they don’t know how to exist side by side at the moment.

I try to pinpoint this awkward separation they’ve chosen to take on for the time being and let my mind wander many of places of wonder and healing. Is the past creeping up? Memories can be a bitch sometimes. Even the ones you don’t want to keep are always hidden somewhere,escaping their cobweb. Nothing is worse for me then to realize my mind is a jumbled mess of pins,needles,flowers,cotton candy and yes mold.                       Black scrapings I’m still trying to peel apart and expose or find the light thats hidden in the dingiest corner.

my mind is too busy.

I’m seeing too many images. Too many phrases going through my head at once and i cant keep the ones i need. they are there then they are gone. I write to remember…i remember. I’m struggling to remember. Yet I feel frozen in these moments.

Poor Brain.

I’ve been paying,planning,reading and researching on top of repaying,replaying and daydreaming.

et suavis et fortis

What do you want to leave for the world?∴

What do you want to put your name on and die next to saying it is your creation?

                                    is it your unshaken faith               …            Is it the endless ladder you climb?                 …

 Is it the family you love and nurture?                     …                           Who will mourn you when you pass.

Is it what you’ll pass down to your children            …                            your generation? even the next?

If someone dug up the remains of your life…      what do you want them to find?

I look hard at myself and the opportunities i have in my hands in the upcoming months and i woke today with a thought.

Is this what i want to leave for the world? If i had to watch, after i pass , how i impacted the world. Am i doing enough?

                                                                                                                Did i help enough?

                                       or did i hurt enough?

My great aunts passing provoked some thoughts toward this. Her spirit was pleasant and brave. She raised her family,

her beautiful family grew and extended into more who extend the traits of her center. She loved her Lord and she loved her family.

These two things are what i remember the best of this women.

Always Smiling.

She impacted so many lives in positive ways it’s a sad day on the Earth to hear her passing.

Letting the pain escape the circumstances I can’t help but focus on what she left behind and be blown away at the simplicity and depth she provided our family.

Pleasant and Brave

Is this what i want to leave the world? My writings? My understandings?

If it helps one person.

If you can help someone through this.

if i can help myself.



♥Pleasant and Brave.♥

Vincit omnia amor- Love conquers all

Vincit omnia veritas-Τruth conquers all

Vita mutatur, non tollitur-Life is changed, not taken away∴

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